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Love Me, Love My Car

‘Love Me, Love My Car’

Season 11, Episode 11 -  Aired December 17, 1992

Sam has a chance to be reunited with his Corvette when the owner's widow, Susan (Dana Delany), turns up at the bar. Meanwhile, Woody's parents send him a pig for Christmas dinner.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Hey, Susan.
Susan: Hi, Sam.
Sam: Can I get you something? Juice and cookies?
Susan: Uh, it was arts and crafts today. Make it bourbon and water.


Quote from Sam

Susan: I've got to tell you, this past week has been great. You've really pulled me out of my shell.
Sam: Well, I'm glad to hear that.
Susan: Guess what.
Sam: What?
Susan: I brought the Corvette.
Sam: Oh! Oh, my old car, right. Yeah, I almost forgot. Yeah. Uh, it's blue, right?
Susan: No, red.
Sam: Red, red, right. Right, right. Flame red, actually, but...

Quote from Sam

Susan: It felt kind of weird driving it.
Sam: Oh! Well, yeah, of course it did, of course. Why didn't I think of that? Yeah, it reminds you of Kirby. Yeah. You know, it's none of my business, but I'm gonna say this anyway. I think you should sell it. I'm having a thought here. Maybe... Maybe... No, that's crazy, that's crazy.
Susan: Well, what? What?
Sam: Well, I... I was just gonna say that, you know, if- if you're gonna sell it, and, like we said, we think you should, then, um, why don't you sell it to me?
Susan: Oh, Sam. No, you don't have to do that for me.
Sam: No! No, I insist, I insist. See, my- my only problem is that I don't think I can afford the fair market value. You know, maybe only like ten grand over the next two years?
Susan: You know what? Let's do it. l- l- l never drive it, and- and you love it, so it's yours.
Sam: Great. I think this is a great idea. I tell you what... Let me, uh.... Let me go get a check, and, uh, we'll go out to dinner and we'll celebrate.

Quote from Woody

Rebecca: Woody, we're running low on pretzels.
Woody: I know, Miss Howe. I set them all free to live in the wild.
Rebecca: Woody, I let your pig go three days ago and I've apologized every day. Let's just drop it.

Quote from Frasier

Sam: I'm sorry, Frasier. I'm- l'm under a lot of pressure here. I mean, I should be having fun with that car, and I'm not. It's driving me crazy. Do you really think there's something to that, you know, subconscious guilt and shame stuff?
Frasier: It depends.
Sam: Yeah? On what?
Frasier: Are you going to hit me again?

Quote from Sam

Susan: Well, you did hurt me. But I guess I understand. I mean, the car was your whole life.
Sam: Oh, thanks. So you forgive me?
Susan: No, I don't forgive you.
Sam: I'm sorry, what...
Susan: You heard me I don't forgive you. I mean, my whole life l- I've let people walk all over me. And- And the minute that they start to feel a little bit guilty, I- I let them off the hook. Well, no more. For the first time in my life, I'm not going to forgive somebody. Yeah! [giggles] It feels good not forgiving.
Sam: Yeah, well, not to me it doesn't. I mean, listen, why- why don't you forgive me and not forgive some other guy. You know, an every other thing.
Susan: Sam, if you feel guilty, I'm glad. You deserve it. Now excuse me. I have a class to teach.
Sam: Oh, no, listen, I'm not leaving until you forgive me.
Susan: Sorry.
Sam: I'm serious. Listen, this is very important to me, Susan... Oh, my God. What did you do to those kids?
Susan: [quietly] It's quiet time. Now go.

Quote from Sam

Susan: Sam, I've got to say, you're quite a sport. You made it through the morning and the afternoon classes.
Sam: Yeah. Well, I'll tell you the truth. I was going to leave a couple hours ago but my my legs kind of froze up. Oh, boy! Listen, uh l, uh I've been mulling it over, especially during the, uh... quiet time, and I... I think that I think you should take the car back.
Susan: What?
Sam: Yeah. Come on. l- l'm never going to enjoy it. I... I think you should drive it. And please, once again, I'm sorry. I acted like a real jerk.
Susan: I forgive you.
Sam: You what?
Susan: I said I forgive you. I just won't forgive the next guy.
Sam: Hey, thank you. That means a lot to me. Say, uh this may not be the right time or anything, but you want to go out and grab something to eat?
Susan: You serious?
Sam: Yes. Yes. I... I... You know, I owe you one. You know, we spent a lot of time together last week. I kind of miss it.
Susan: All right. Why don't we take your car?
Sam: My car? Are you serious?
Susan: Yeah. But if you miss one payment...
Sam: Yeah. I know, I know. In the doghouse.
Susan: You'll wish. You know, for a minute there, when you were asking me out, I thought maybe you were trying to get to Kirby's boat.
Sam: Oh, come on. Kirby had a boat?

Quote from Sam

Woody: Oh, what are you guys celebrating?
Susan: I just sold Sam my car.
Woody: Oh, that's great. That's all he's been talking about.
Susan: Really?
Woody: Oh, yeah. Well, he's had his eye on that car since the day you walked in the door.
Sam: [enters] Okay, here we go. Here's the check. Uh, do me a favor, do not cash this right away.
Susan: You know, Sam, if you wanted my car so badly, all you had to do was ask. I mean, you didn't have to, uh, waste a week pretending to be my friend. [tosses Sam the keys] Here, take it. [exits]
Sam: How about that. I got my car back. Didn't cost me a penny! [chanting] Sammy! Sammy! Come on, come on. Sammy! Come on, you'll have fun. Sammy! Sammy!

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