Sam: All right! Bird for 3. Ha!
Robin: Sam, are you going to play chess or listen to your basketball game?
Sam: I can do both.
Robin: King's Rook to Queen One.
Sam: OK. King's Rook to Queen One. Well, in that case, uh... My horsey guy takes your little pointy-headed guy.
Robin: You know, you're a... You're a fascinating opponent, obviously unskilled in the finer points of the game. You have an instinctive, raw talent that pulls you through and makes me want to squash you like a bug. Queen takes Bishop. Check.
Sam: All right! Jump ball! Oh, God. I wish you could hear this game, you guys.
Robin: Sam? Sam, here. Sam? I checked. I checked.
Sam: Oh. That's all right. Check. All right. Uh... Well, in that case, um, my castle takes your queen. Get out of that, rich boy.

Norm: I can't get the board back. He's on his own.
Pete: Aw, poor Sammy.
Carla: Oh, come on, guys. We've seen Sammy in situations like this hundreds of times... You know, the game's on the line, the best hitter's coming up to the plate, men on second and third. And who do they call in? Mayday Malone with his "slider of death."
Rebecca: Well, what would he do?
Norm: Well, he'd usually give up a 3-run homer. It was Sam's teammates who called it the "Slider of Death."

Sam: So they had a man on first and a man on second. Who do they call in but old Mayday Malone with his "Slider of Death."
Robin: Why did they call it that?
Sam: None of your business.