Carla: Hey, hey, hey. Sammy's talking.
Sam: [over headset] Yeah, yeah. It's very clever of you to have moved your pointy-headed thing to the white square, second from the bottom on the far right.
Norm: Uh, right, Sam. OK, yeah, here we go. Holy cow. It went blank.
Sam: Pardon me?
Robin: What?
Sam: l... said pardon me. I burped.
Robin: No, you didn't.
Sam: Well, you couldn't hear me, but I did, and I'm sorry.
Robin: Oh. Well, then, gesundheit.
Sam: I didn't sneeze.
Robin: Well, perhaps you will one day, and I won't hear it.

Robin: That is either the stupidest move in the world, or... That was very clever, Sam. What will you do when I move my bishop to king knight 5?
Sam: I don't know. All right. Is this, uh, horsey guy mine?
Robin: Yes.
Sam: Well, ahem, can I move that here... And that's checkmate?
Robin: What?
Sam: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I win. That's checkmate. Yeah. You shouldn't have moved your cardinal, bub.
Robin: Bishop! It's called a bishop. I only moved him because your last move was so incredibly stupid, that I thought you were up to something clever.
Sam: Heh. Yeah. Well, sometimes incredibly stupid is clever enough for me.

Sam: All right, all right. If you knew this game was fixed, then how come you went along with it?
Robin: Are you joking? That was the only thing about the game that held any challenge for me, Samuel.
Sam: OK, so, you knew it was fixed, and yet you went ahead and played. I say that I won fair and square. You owe me, one week's salary. Come on, bud, and don't, uh, leave out any of those little zeros there.
Robin: Oh, right you are, Sam. Um, I must preface this by saying that, um, in order to keep my tax bracket low, I am a corporation. And the nominal salary I pay myself as president of that corporation is $1.00 a year, which means that my weekly salary after taxes is... One penny.

Frasier: Well, I whupped 'em both.
Norm: Oh, yeah, Frasier. You definitely threw the one that came closest to the dartboard.
Frasier: Well, what is that unusual taste? Ah, yes... Sour grapes. Ha ha ha! So, does anybody else wish to snatch the laurels of victory from my brow?
Carla: Well, something's got to cover that beach you call a forehead.

Robin: Hi, darling. Ready to go to the beach?
Rebecca: I've been to the beach, thank you.
Robin: Well, why didn't you ask me to go?
Rebecca: I did. I came in here and screamed your name out at least a half a dozen times.
Robin: I thought you were cheering me on.

Sam: You mean you had to go to the beach all by yourself?
Rebecca: No. I went with Woody. I did all those stupid things that I dreamed of doing. We walked on the shore, and we fed the sea gulls, we skipped stones. I buried Woody up to his neck in the sand. Oh, my God. Woody! [runs out]

Frasier: Oh, here's where everybody is.
Norm: Oh, Frasier. How's Cliff?
Frasier: Oh, he's fine, fine. He'll be all right, I think. They're keeping him under observation for a while until he's completely normal.
Norm: Gee, I never got to say good-bye.

Rebecca: OK, people, I've got a special day planned with Robin, so, I'm leaving the bar in your control. I want everything ship-shape. Carla, straighten up your apron. Woody, fix your hair. Sam, stop fixing your hair.

Rebecca: Robin will be by shortly and he's taking the day off.
Sam: Oh, how nice for you.
Rebecca: Nice? Ha! I don't think you understand the significance of this. Men like Robin Colcord do not take days off. He had to shift appointments, put off deals, cancel plane flights. When a man like Robin takes a day off, it is a major commitment.
Norm: Well, for me, it's a way of life.

Carla: So, what's all this?
Rebecca: Today, Robin and I are going to live out every fantasy I've ever had, and I want to be properly attired.
So, this is for the beach, walking hand-in-hand, picnic in the park, paddle boats, zoo, seventh row, phantom of the opera, and this is for the end of a romantic evening. [holds up an unused clothes hanger]
Woody: You're planning on locking your keys in your car, Miss Howe?
Rebecca: Yes, Woody.