‘I'm Okay, You're Defective’
Season 10, Episode 11 - Aired December 5, 1991
After months of struggling to conceive, Rebecca urges Sam to see a fertility specialist. Meanwhile, Lilith pushes Frasier to draft a will even though he's afraid to contemplate death.
Quote from Rebecca
Rebecca: Woody, where's Sam?
Woody: Oh, he's in the office, Miss Howe.
Rebecca: Hey, get your butt out here, Mister Macho! We've been going at it for six months like a couple of monkeys, and I'm still not pregnant!
Sam: H- Honey, there- there's an inside voice, and then there's an outside voice. I think that was your outside voice, don't you?
Rebecca: You know, guess who came to visit this morning. Mr. Charlie. That's right, my period. That means... [Sam drags Rebecca into his office]
Quote from Rebecca
Rebecca: [answers the phone] Hello. Uh-huh, this is she. Oh. I just... Oh, really? You sure? Okay. Thank you, Doctor. [hangs up] [sighs] All right! It's not me! It must be you! You're the one!
Quote from Cliff
Woody: Hey, what have you got there, Mr. Clavin?
Cliff: Uh, cake and a pizza. I was thinking about how we keep leaving Paul out of stuff. So I thought, why not throw him a little party.
Norm: Oh, what a sweet, generous thing to do, Cliff.
Cliff: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, well thanks. I remember, uh, how lonely and left out I felt till you guys threw me that big party.
Norm: We never threw you a party.
Cliff: No kidding.
Quote from Norm
Norm: Now, did you mention to Paul that we had a cake and a pizza?
Cliff: No. No, no, I didn't.
Norm: So, uh, you know, we still have the cake. Uh, I mean, if there wasn't any pizza, Paul wouldn't know there wasn't even gonna be any pizza.
Cliff: Exactly. [they start eating the pizza]
Norm: [mouth full] What kind of cake is it?
Cliff: It's, uh angel food.
Norm: This is bad. This is really bad.
Cliff: Why?
Norm: We should take that cake, put it in the office where it won't be such a temptation.
Cliff: Good idea.
Norm: Yeah.
Cliff: Out of sight, out of mind, huh? We're going to eat the cake, too, aren't we, Norm?
Norm: It's gone.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: You know, writing this will has forced me to take a good, long look at my life. Who I've been, who I've become. As I tally up the ledger of my my life, I... l come to one unmistakable conclusion. I have tipped you adequately. More, in fact, than you have deserved.
Carla: Frasier, I called a cab. Go clean yourself up.
Frasier: Okay. You were never courteous. Never once.
Quote from Carla
Carla: [lights envelope on fire] Sammy?
Sam: Yeah?
Carla: Give me that trash can over there.
Sam: What are you doing?
Carla: Putting you out of your misery. It was just a little too painful to watch.
Sam: Oh. Hey, thank you. Oh! [flames crackling] Too bad we don't have any marshmallows, huh?
Carla: We've got you.