Diane: Well, we've always gone with our feelings.
Sam: Yeah.
Diane: Are these your feelings?
Sam: Yes, they are.
Diane: I only want to do what's best for us.
Sam: So do you agree that we shouldn't get married?
Diane: I do.
Carla: [squeals] Thank you, thank you.

Carla: Nick made me feel all... [sighs] all squooshy inside.
Sam: "Squooshy"?
Carla: Squooshy.
Sam: Uh, well that's how Diane makes me feel. All squooshy.
Carla: [yells] Oh, yuck! Double yuck! Oh, I'm gonna throw up! This is so disgusting!
Sam: You said it. What do y-?
Carla: I married Nick 'cause he knocked me up. This is sickening! Ugh!
Sam: I only said it 'cause you said it. What are you do-?
Carla: I need some air. Hey, guys, listen to this!
Sam: No, don't, please don't! Sam says Diane makes him feel all squooshy! [crowd taunting]
Diane: "Squooshy."
Sam: Oh!

Sumner: I understand congratulations are in order.
Diane: You've heard about our engagement?
Sumner: Yes. Wonderful news travels fast. Sam, old man, I'd like to steal away your lovely bride-to-be for a private chat. With your permission, of course.
Diane: You're not going to try to take her away from me, are you, Sumner?
Sumner: It's obvious you've cast a spell over Diane that someone with even my considerable charms would find difficult to break.
Sam: Well, maybe with your charms and a jug of cheap wine.

Cliff: Hey, uh, remember us, uh, Dr. Sloane?
Sumner: How could I forget? Barney, Wally, Ed.

Diane: Sam?
Sam: Yeah.
Diane: Oh, there you are. Where have you been?
Sam: l, uh, was at the dentist. l, uh, had something caught in my teeth.

Sam: What are you up to there?
Diane: I've started addressing our wedding invitations.
Sam: So what did Sumner have to say?
Diane: Well, it seems he has submitted the manuscript of one of my novels to an editor who thinks it might be publishable with a little work.
Sam: Well, that's great, isn't it?
Diane: Yeah, it's very flattering. And I'm not easily flattered.
Sam: Oh, I know, I know. That's, uh... That's one of the most remarkable things about you.
Diane: Thank you, Sam.

[fantasy:]
Cliff: Eh... really, eh, nice seeing you two again. Eh, Diane, you get, uh, better looking every year.
Diane: Why, thank you, Clifford.
Norm: Yeah, wish I could say the same thing about Vera.
Diane: Oh, Norman, didn't you tell us that Vera still has the figure of a young girl?
Norm: That's right; it's tattooed on her back.
Sam: [coughing] Good one. Good one.

[fantasy:]
Diane: You know, Sam, we are blessed. With wonderful friends and a wonderful family.
Sam: It certainly has been a good life. Do you have any regrets?
Diane: None.
Sam: Now, what about that book you were going to write a long time ago? Now, don't you ever wish that you had done that instead of marrying me?
Diane: Oh, that was years and years ago, Sam.
Sam: I know that, but don't you have any regrets?
Diane: Sam Malone, I wouldn't trade one minute of my life with you for a Nobel Prize in Literature. [phone rings] I'll get it.
Sam: Oh. [answers phone] Hello. I don't know why, Carla. Because I love her! Now, can we just leave this alone, please?!