Rebecca: You see, I have this fantasy and it's something that I've always wanted to try, but I didn't ever think that I'd get to do it until tonight. Would you like to know what it is?
Sam: Yes, please.
Rebecca: Okay. Well, you see, I have this hot tub at home.
Sam: I love the way this begins.
Rebecca: And what we do when we get there... [whispers in Sam's ear]
Sam: First?
Rebecca: Uh-huh. And then... [whsipers]
Sam: Oh, God. Oh, please.
Rebecca: A- A- A- And this is the part that's just a little tiny bit illegal. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, I don't think that I should tell you. I really think it would be better if I showed you. Come with me now, so we don't spoil the mood.
Sam: Could you just give me a minute?
Rebecca: No. Bye-bye, Sam.
Waiter: Can I get you anything else, Mr. Malone?
Sam: No, thank you, Paul. Actually, Paul, could I have another one of your chocolate souffles?
Waiter: Are you aware that will take 45 minutes?
Sam: Yes, Paul, I am.

Sam: So what you got there?
Rebecca: A Mercedes catalog.
Sam: Oh.
Rebecca: I'm thinking of getting one.
Sam: Yeah, I hear good things about those catalogs. What, you got a raise or something?
Rebecca: No. I can only afford the cheapest model, and I have to give up lunches until I... Well, I have to give up lunches. But it will still be a Mercedes.
Sam: Speaking of Mercedes. I'm kind of known as the Mercedes of guys.
Rebecca: Really? I always thought you were more of a cheap pickup with a headlight missing.

Rebecca: Mr. Stone! Welcome, welcome. It's such an honor to have you here. Mr. Stone, I'd like you to meet Sam Malone.
Greg: Yeah, hi. Pleased to meet you, Sam.
Sam: Yeah.
Greg: Who are you?
Rebecca: Rebecca Howe. I'm the manager.
Greg: Ah, of course. I'd like to use your phone if I may.
Rebecca: You can do anything you want with my phone.
Greg: Thank you. For the moment, I thought I'd just speak into it.
Rebecca: Good choice.
Sam: Okay, come on. Let's go. Sweetheart, we're gonna be late. Let's-
Rebecca: He could very well be the most handsome man I have ever seen. [patrons groaning] And did you see the way he looked in my eyes when he said, "Who are you?" I think he really likes me.
Sam: We all do, honey. Now, let's go.
Rebecca: No, Sam, you don't understand. He's the man I've been giving my accounts to the last couple weeks.
I think he could be my ticket to corporate.

Sam: I'm going to tell her to take her stupid job back. I don't want it anymore.
Carla: Wait a minute, Sam. Aren't you missing something here?
Sam: What?
Carla: You desperately want to jump this woman's bones, right?
Sam: Sure.
Carla: And you've just arranged something for her that she wants more than anything else in the world.
Sam: So?
Carla: Don't you see a connection between those two things? [Sam stares blankly] Breaks your heart, doesn't it? You tell Rebecca that you loved being the manager, but you couldn't stand to see her being so miserable, so you got her her job back. Next thing you know, she'll be doing the backstroke on your water bed.
Sam: Carla, I'm shocked.
Carla: Why, 'cause you didn't think of it first?
Sam: Yeah. I mean, I must be losing it.

Sam: Woody, uh, call Melville's. Tell them I want an 8:00 reservation for two. Oh, and tell them that I want booth number five, chill their best champagne, yeah, and order a chocolate souffle for dessert.
Woody: Aw, gee, Sam, that sounds good, but actually, I brought my dinner.
Sam: Woody make the reservation.
Woody: All right, but this is a waste of a perfectly good meatball sandwich.

Sam: So you having a good time?
Rebecca: Yeah, I actually am.
Sam: Well, you don't have to sound so surprised.
Rebecca: Oh, I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like that. It's just that with all your obnoxious come-ons, and everything, I never expected you to be as as charming as you've been tonight.
Sam: No kidding. So, what do you find charming about me?
Rebecca: Well, for one thing, I find it charming that you would try to impress me by ordering an elegant souffle, when I know perfectly well that your favorite dessert is frozen Snicker bars.
Sam: Actually, they're in the bottom of your champagne bucket there. [Rebecca chuckles] Oh, I think I was just charming again there, wasn't l?

Sam: Where is Rebecca?
Carla: In her office. Why?
Sam: Ah, today's the day a certain chestnut brown-haired beauty is gonna succumb to the charms of Sammy. [laughter] Laugh if you will, but according to my calculations, the timing is perfect. I waited long enough for her to get over Evan Drake, but not long enough for her to build up her resistance again. The way I see it, I got about a half-hour window of opportunity opening up here. I'm telling you, boys, Rebecca Howe is mine.
Cliff & Norm: Sammy! Sammy! Sammy!
[Sam knocks on Rebecca's door]
Rebecca: [o.s.] Yes?
Norm: Ooh, he's got her saying, "yes," already, ooh!
[Sam enters Rebecca's office]
Cliff: Not a devout nun's prayer.
Norm: No, sir.

Rebecca: Men. You're all alike. Nothing but users, and takers, and big, stupid jerks, who don't even know you exist and then go running off to Japan with someone else.
Sam: That is such a cliche.
Sam: Come on, please.
Rebecca: Forget it. I'm concentrating on my career. I happen to think I have a real future with this company.
Sam: No offense, but why?
Rebecca: Because I think it's my time. You know, Evan took a lot of key people with him to Japan. And the way I figure it, everyone who knows I'm a washout is gone.
Sam: Ooh. Talk about sitting pretty.
Rebecca: You bet. You know, the new executive vice president, Mr. Stone has been doing a little housecleaning at the corporate level. From where I am, it could be just a short climb to the top.

Sam: 8:00?
Rebecca: Okay. Oh, a-and let's just keep this between us. I don't want those bozos out there turning this into a circus.
Sam: No, no. I couldn't agree with you more.
[After Sam leaves Rebecca's office, the patrons cheer. Sam sticks his head back in:]
Sam: Lucky guess.

Rebecca: Oh, excuse me, excuse me, sir! Listen, as long as you were gonna tell me anyway, why don't you just go ahead and tell me now?
Greg: This is not the time or the place.
Rebecca: Oh, please tell me. You've been going over my files?
Greg: Yes, I have.
Rebecca: And we're doing better?
Greg: Yes, we're doing better.
Rebecca: Well, then what's the problem? Just go ahead and tell me.
Greg: I really think we should discuss this privately.
Sam: Pal, just between us guys here, do me a favor and tell her. It'd kind of help grease the old skids.
Greg: I really don't think-
Rebecca: Sir, excuse me, please? Please?
Greg: Very well, Ms. Howe, if you insist. This, uh, quarter has shown a slight improvement.
Rebecca: Did you hear that, everybody? "A slight improvement."
Greg: But the records show, unequivocally, that the bar did better under Sam's direction than yours. In view of this, I'm hereby appointing Sam the new manager. And I regret to say I'm forced to give you notice. I'm sorry. Okay, boys, dessert.