Sam: Honey, it's kind of slow. Why- Why don't you take the day off, go see your mom, huh?
Carla: Might I remind you, Sam, my mother and I don't exactly get along.
Norm: You don't get along with anybody.
Carla: Yeah, well, this is different, and shut up! The last time I saw my mother, we had this terrible fight about this stupid family thing, and I swore I would never set foot in her lousy place again unless someone dragged me there kicking and screaming.
Sam: So, that's it, huh?
Carla: You're damned right. [Sam clicks his tongue] Drag me, Sammy.
Sam: Really?
Carla: Do it. Drag me. [Sam drags Carla] No! No! Cut it out! I don't want to go! No! No! I never want to see that shriveled old bag again!

Carla: No! Put me down! I don't want to go!
Zia: Oh, Carla, Carla! Oh, nobody would believe you would come! Oh, your sister is in there with your mother now, and you go next, yes? Oh, she will be so happy to see you. Carla! [laughs]
Carla: Sam, you remember Zia, the hugger.
Sam: Yeah.
Zia: Oh, Sam! Oh!

Carla: I'll pass. So, Zia, how's Mom? Carla, what kind of question is that? She had the dream. [gestures]
Sam: So, she's really sick, huh?
Zia: No. She doesn't have to be sick. She had the dream. [gestures]
Sam: Oh right.
Zia: She'll be dead soon. Have you had lunch?
Sam: Uh, actually, yeah, I did.
Zia: Oh, then this is dinner.
Sam: Oh, hey, thanks, Zia.
Zia: Eat up, Sam. Our family believes in, life is for the living. [laughs] Soon enough, we'll all be dead, rotting in the ground, with a mouth full of worms.
Sam: Great linguine.

Angeline: Thank you, Zia.
Zia: Oh, Carla, your sister's finished.
Angeline: Bitch.
Carla: Slut.
Zia: Oh, it's nice to see them talking.

Carla: Mama.
Mama Lozupone: Angeline?
Carla: No, Mama. It's Carla.
Mama Lozupone: Oh. My purse is on the dresser.
Carla: Mama, I didn't come here for your money. I came because I feel bad things got so ugly between us the last time I was here.
Mama Lozupone: So, you've come to say you're sorry.
Carla: Well, I'm sorry we fought.
Mama Lozupone: Then you're sorry. I accept your apology.
Carla: Good. I accept your apology, too.
Mama Lozupone: I didn't say I was sorry.
Carla: Well, then, I'm not sorry, either.
Mama Lozupone: Too late. I already accepted your apology.
Carla: Damn!

Mama Lozupone: So, here now that we've made peace, I want you to have the ring that my mother gave to me, and her mother gave to her.
Carla: Oh, Mama. The ring. [Mama hands over a piece of paper] What's this?
Mama Lozupone: I hocked it. Come. [Cara lays on the bed with her mother] Oh, your father's hair.
Carla: Sorry, Mom.
Mama Lozupone: And now, Carla, there is something you must do for me.
Carla: Oh, Mama, I know what you're gonna ask me. We're just gonna get into that same fight we had the last time I was here. I... It... It's just too much to ask. I can't do it.
Mama Lozupone: It's the family tradition.
Carla: No.
Mama Lozupone: I did it. My mother did it. Her mother did it. Her mother did it before her.
Carla: I said no. I don't care who did it.
Mama Lozupone: Her mother did it.
Carla: Mama, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had the dream. I'm sorry you're gonna die. I'm sorry the family tradition is gonna die with you. But that is just the way it is. I can't do this for anybody, not even for my mama.
Mama Lozupone: Her mother did it.

Sam: How are you doing, honey?
Carla: Better. I went home, went to my bedroom, shut off all the lights and laid down on my bed. Then I started thinking. What if I was dying and Serafina refused to do the one thing that meant the most to me. How would I feel?
Norm: So you apologized to your mother?
Carla: No. I went out and yelled at Serafina. I felt a lot better. So I went and yelled at all the rest of the kids. Then I started thinking, why should I be having all this fun when my mom's dying? So I decided I had to try to do something for her.
Woody: Well, I've got a bunch of these coupon books left. They're only good for a month, but I guess in her case, that doesn't matter.
Carla: Anyway, all the kids were there, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask them if anyone would fulfill their grandmother's dying wish and change their name to Benito Mussolini.
Sam: Any takers?
Carla: No. But I got two Madonnas and an MC Hammer. Well, that's that. I tried everything I can.
Woody: She didn't try the coupons.

Carla: Oh, no. I'm too late. Oh, Mama. Oh, Mama, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I hope you can hear me. I hope you can rest now. I swear on your memory, that my Gino is now named Benito Mussolini.
Mama Lozupone: [sits up] Well, it's about time. I was getting bedsores.
Carla: You're not dead. You're not dead at all. You were never dying. You just did this to trick me. And you were all in on it.
Angeline: We listen to our mother.
Sal: And we thought it would be funny.
Gino: No, Ma, No! [holding Carla back]
Carla: You, you never even had the dream. You just did this to trick me into getting to name my kid that stupid name.
Mama Lozupone: I had to. You're stubborn as your grandmother's mule, who, incidentally, you were named after. I honor tradition.
Carla: Yeah, well, I'm gonna give you something to honor right in the labonz!

Sam: Ladies, ladies, please, please. Please.
Mama Lozupone: Stay out of this, if you know what's good for you, Paddy. Listen, I may be old, but I can still instruct others to hurt you. Benito, kick your mother in the teeth for me.
Gino: Okay, Grandma.
Carla: Don't you order- Don't you order my son around. Gino, go punch your grandma in the kidneys.
Gino: Okay, Ma.
Sam: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Mama Lozupone: You, you're big, throw Carla out the window.
Sam: No, I'm not gonna throw her out the window.
Mama Lozupone: All right. I'll do it, sick as I am.

Sam: Please, please, I... Mrs. Lozupone, I don't mean to be disrespectful here, but, you know, you're not being fair. You're asking your daughter here to-to name her son after a very bad man. And- And you faked death to get her to do it. I mean, these are not your, uh... typical mother things.
Mama Lozupone: Are you saying I'm a bad mother?
Sam: Well, yeah, in this case, yeah, I am. [all gasp]
Carla: Sam.
Sam: What?
Carla: You insulted my mother. In her own house. With the food that we cooked over her deathbed still stuck in your teeth.
Sam: Is that bad? [all hissing]