Norm: Anyway, the city planner's office issued a temporary injunction against any demolition until it can be determined whether the Hungry Heifer can be declared a roadside landmark.
Rebecca: Oh, congratulations, Norm.
Norm: Gentlemen, start your enzymes.
All: [chanting] Norm. Norm. Norm. Norm.
Norm: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna invite you guys all to the Hungry Heifer tonight. Well, what was supposed to be a sad little farewell dinner is gonna turn into the happiest meal of Mr. Sid Nelson's life. Everyone's gonna be there, guys. Even the Big Eaters Circle.
Woody: You in that, Mr. P?
Norm: Oh, no, no, Woody, please. This is a closed table. I mean, someone has to die before you can get a seat there.
Woody: Wow, too bad.
Norm: Oh, no. These guys drop dead like once a week. I've got a real shot at it, I think.

Norm: Guys, look, uh, sorry I was getting all emotional about the Hungry Heifer, I mean... It's just that I'm losing someplace that's so close to my heart.
Carla: Don't you mean clogging your heart?
Frasier: Well, Norm, there are other restaurants.
Norm: It's not just the restaurant, it's the owner, okay? Sid Nelson. He's a funny kind of guy, you know? He's all tough on the outside, but really soft and mushy on the inside.
Cliff: Hmm. Not unlike his entire menu.
Norm: Anyway, Sid was always there for me.
Cliff: Not unlike his entire menu.
Norm: I remember one time, in college, I had to stay up all night to finish a term paper. Sid stayed up with me till we finished it. We also finished a two-pound onion loaf.
Frasier: Well, Norm, I don't blame you for being depressed.
Norm: No depressed? Come on. You know, life's only temporary anyway, right? When you're born, blah-blah-blah, you die. [Norm slides away his empty beer glass]

Frasier: Now, Norm, there are there are many roads open to you. Geez, you well, you could do something to help save the Hungry Heifer. Or, well, better yet, you could help do something to save yourself! Turn over a new leaf. You could diet, exercise, work for a charitable cause. Or, if you want the ultimate way of guaranteeing your immortality, go home to Vera and start a family right this minute.
Norm: Frasier. You are right. When you're right, you are right! I am gonna do it! [friends shouting encouragement] I'm gonna save the Hungry Heifer!
Frasier: Well, what about, uh, dieting, exercise, making a baby with Vera?
Norm: Pfft! You do it.

Frasier: Well, Rebecca, how are you on this magnificent day?
Rebecca: None of your business.
Frasier: [as John Wayne] Well, who stuck a burr under your saddle, missy?
Rebecca: Sorry, Frasier, I've just been in a bad mood lately.
Frasier: Would you like to talk about it? It might help to alleviate your depression.
Rebecca: No, I really wouldn't feel comfortable talking to you.
Frasier: Why is that? Because you know me too well to think of me as a therapist?
Rebecca: No, because I saw you dance around this bar in your underwear, with swizzle sticks in your ears, when they brought back Classic Coke.
Frasier: Well, granted, that wasn't my finest hour, but you can taste the difference.

Frasier: Now, Rebecca, counseling people is what I do. Please let me help you.
Rebecca: [sighs] All right, Frasier. It's just that I can't seem to make anything work. Robin is in prison. I manage this crummy bar. My career is at a standstill. I'm miserable. I'm lonely. And now, I have to sell my Mercedes.
Frasier: I see. Well, I'll, uh I'll give you $5,000 cash and take over your payments.
Rebecca: Six thousand firm.
Frasier: Deal.
Rebecca: Thank you.
Frasier: Damn! It's good to heal.

Frasier: You know, Sam, this is a treat. I've got this side of the bar to myself. I can drink my beer and enjoy my newspaper without being pummeled on every side by inane chatter.
Sam: Yep.
Frasier: Say, look well, look at this. There is barometric pressure on Venus. Now, how did they measure that?
Sam: Beats me.
Frasier: A man was reunited with his twin brother after 30 years. They worked in the same auto plant in Columbus, Ohio!
Rebecca: That's nice.
Frasier: Say, would anybody like me to read their, uh, their horoscope? I'll, uh, start with Aries.
Sam: Somebody want to play with Frasier, please?

Frasier: Geez, Norm, I-I look at you and I see a man at a crossroads. This may be your very first brush with mortality, with the temporal nature of things. You may feel futile now, but there are ways to combat that.
Norm: Yeah? How?
Frasier: Well, by guaranteeing your own immortality. By leaving your mark on the world.
Carla: He always leaves two dents on the stool.
Frasier: Carla, please.
Carla: Well, he does! Big ones, too! When he goes home at night, this stool looks like it has a Mohawk!
Frasier: Look, I was hoping for something a little more life-affirming, thank you!

Carla: Come on, stop moping around. Look, why don't you do what any woman would do for her man: strip to your skivvies, grab a chamois and wash a couple of cars. Get your front wet.
Rebecca: I don't think Robin would respond to something cheap like that.
Carla: Oh, yeah? You should have seen how fast he stabbed that trash when I did it.

Norm: If I get like a hundred more signatures, I can bring this petition over to City Hall.
Frasier: Good for you.
Norm: Frasier, you were absolutely right. This feels right. This feels great.
[Norm puts on his sandwich board which reads "Save the Heiffer" on the front.]
Norm: It's been a long time since I pounded the bricks for a cause.
[As Norm goes to leave, the back of his sandwich board reads "All the way with JFK"]

Frasier: Cliff, you want to go shoot some stick?
Cliff: Let's shoot some stick, Doctor.
Woody: Oh, hey, before you go back there, Dr. Crane, I should tell you that Carla's keeping a guard on the pool table.
Frasier: Why is she doing that?
Woody: I guess she likes him.