Carla: What can I get you?
Man: What have you got?
Carla: Anything you want.
Man: I'll bet you do. Why don't you tell me.
Carla: Maybe you'd like to see a menu.
Man: No, I don't need one. I know what I want.
Carla: Are we talking about the same thing?
Man: I think so.
Carla: Then maybe you'd like to whisper what you want in my ear.
[Carla lays down on the table]
Carla: Scotch and soda? Ooh, he's toying with me.

Cliff: There's the final. Looks like you won, Woodrow.
Sam: Hey, Woody.
Norm: Hey, Woodrow.
Woody: Thank you very much. I want you to know I couldn't have done it without all you guys because... Well, this is your money.

Norm: Imagine how much he'd have made if he'd parlayed some of those bets.
Woody: What's that mean?
Cliff: Well, that's when you bet a series of games with a bookie. I mean, you gotta win them all, so the odds are pretty long.
Woody: Oh, do you guys know a real bookie?
Sam: I got a friend who's got a friend who's got a friend.
Woody: And he's a bookie?
Sam: No, but his friend is.

Sam: So what is this? What are you guys doing?
Diane: We're planning a little celebration in honor of Woody's good fortune.
Sam: A celebration, huh? You mean like food, music, drink, that kind of thing?
Norm: Yeah, well, we're not providing any of that, but we're hoping Mr Moneybags will spring for that when he gets here.

[Everyone cheers as Woody enters the bar:]
All: Hey!
Woody: Thanks a lot, guys. Hey, but guess what. I've got some great news. I won that parlay.

Diane: What's this? [reads] "Please" something.
Sam: [o.s.] Please get in here!
Diane: Sam, is this an M or a double N?
Sam: Just forget about that and sit down, will you.

Woody: Sam, I wanna thank you.
Sam: You're welcome. Oh, wait- Wait a second here. Why aren't you going crazy?
Woody: Because it's the nicest thing that anyone ever did for me.
Sam: Are you kidding me? I mean, not only did I not make the bet, I lied about it. Woody, you should be going crazy.
Woody: It was for my own good, Sam. [hugs Sam]
Sam: Come on, man, don't do this to me. You're out $10,000 because of me.
Woody: You couldn't have known how it was gonna turn out. You thought I was gonna lose.
Sam: No, wait a second. What difference does that make? Come on! Man, I cheated you out of $10,000. I mean, who do I think I am? You should wanna kill me, Woody.
Woody: It happened. I really don't see the point in getting angry.
Sam: Now, you're not being honest. Now, down deep, you're mad. You know you are.
Woody: Maybe I am, just a little.
Sam: No, you mean, "Hell, yes, I am, Sam!" Come on.
Woody: It was still the nicest thing that anyone ever did for me. You're a great man, Sam.
Sam: Oh, man, you're hopeless. Go on, get out of here. At least let me feel like a jerk in private.
Woody: Sure, Sam. Sorry.

Woody: I can't stand to see you like this. Would it make you feel better if I took the dollar a week?
Sam: Come on, man. A dollar a week is meaningless.
Woody: How about a dollar a week and a raise?
Sam: Nice gesture. Not good enough.
Woody: Okay. How about a dollar a week, a raise and your Corvette?
Sam: My car? Not a chance.
Woody: Why not?
Sam: Don't be ridiculous. It's my car.
Woody: But you owe me $10,000.
Sam: I don't care. I mean, it's my car.
Woody: But you said you wanted to make it up to me.

Sam: We're talking about my car, Woody.
Woody: I see. You say you're sorry, you say you care, but when it comes down to it, it's just a lot of lip motion.
Sam: No-
Woody: Well, I think that stinks!
Sam: That's good.
Woody: You're nothing but a selfish, lying creep!
Sam: That's good. That's good. You're angry now.
Woody: Oh, you bet I am! Now I'm gonna go pack my bags.
Sam: Oh, no. Wait a second. What are you doing? What do you mean?
Woody: Oh, you're my boss and I yelled at you, I can't stick around.
Sam: Woody, Woody, Woody. That was just a little yelling. Now, that doesn't mean anything.
Woody: Well, no, but I've never yelled at anybody like that before in my life. We can't be friends anymore.