Diane: Look, Sam some things were said between us that have never been said before. And they were said because we were facing death. And now that the crisis is over, I think we should set aside some of those things for when we can better deal with them. What I'm trying to say is that I think we should, for the time being, forget what was said on that plane.
Sam: Hey, what plane, huh?
Diane: The plane where you said your deepest desire was to marry me. [exits]
Sam: Oh, yeah, that plane.

Jack Dalton: [lifting Diane] Still light as a bird, huh?
Diane: Oh, Jack. Listen, I want you to meet everybody. This is Carla Tortelli.
Jack Dalton: [lifts Carla] Tortelli!
Carla: Easy, Hercules. I just had chilli.
Woody: I'm Woody Boyd.
Jack Dalton: [lifts Woody] Boyd!
Cliff: I'm Cliff Clavin.
Jack Dalton: [lifts Cliff] Clavin!
[Norm stands up and holds his arms out]
Norm: Norm Peterson.
Jack Dalton: Norm. [shakes Norm's hand]

Jack Dalton: I got a whistle to wet. Hey, barkeep, how'd you like to arm-wrestle me for a beer?
Norm: Hey, all right!
Woody: All righty, but I have to warn you, I was arm-wrestling champion of Posey County.
Jack Dalton: Fair enough. All right. One, two, three...
Woody: Ladies and gents, the new champ of Posey County.

Jack Dalton: You look like you could give me a run for my money.
Sam: I think I'll take a rain check.
Jack Dalton: Come on, man, just for the sport of it.
Diane: Jack, I'll buy you the beer. You don't have to beat everybody in the bar.
Sam: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What makes you think I'm gonna lose? Sam Malone here. I'm the owner of the bar, and I've yet to lose a beer in it.
Jack Dalton: Well, there's a first time for everything. One, two, three...
[As they arm-wrestle, neither makes any headway against the other]
Sam: [pained] So how long you in town for?
Jack Dalton: [pained] Just for the day. I'm on my way to the Air Races in Reno.
Sam: Reno? Yeah, that's lovely this time of year.
Jack Dalton: Beautiful... [Jack defeats Sam]
Sam: Well, I guess I owe you a beer here.

Jack Dalton: Diane, how the hell are you?
Diane: I'm fine. I'm fine.
Jack Dalton: My God, you look pale. You folks should've seen her frolicking in the surf at Mykonos. Her little bottom was as brown as a berry.
Carla: The stick running around buck-naked?
Diane: It was a semiprivate beach.
Sam: Used to be a semiprivate bottom.

Diane: So, Jack, what's been happening with you lately?
Jack Dalton: Oh, nothing much. I spent most of last year in Tibet centring my consciousness with secrets from the Book of the Dead. Fun place, Tibet. I studied under this Buddhist monk who had such a pixyish sense of humour. I remember this one particular morning. We were clad in goatskin. The sun was just coming over the Himalayas. At that moment I took my first trip out of my body to nirvana.
Norm: You know, a trip like that could well be deductible. See, well, I'm a CPA. Unemployed CPA. Kind of a funny, unemployed CPA.

Woody: Mr. Dalton, you've had so many bizarre and terrifying experiences.
Jack Dalton: Some people say that I have a death wish. Far from it. I have a life wish.
Cliff: Yeah, so does Normie.
Norm: What, what, what?
Cliff: He wishes he had one. [laughs]

Jack Dalton: Hey, Chambers! Come on, tell us all about you. Now, the last time I saw you, you turned down my offer to travel around the world because you had a secret love back in Boston. Baseball player, wasn't it?
Diane: Yes, Mickey Mantle. It didn't work out.
Jack Dalton: I always say the best remedy for unrequited love is a trip around the world on a raft. Sound tempting?
Diane: Jack, I feel kind of settled now. I'll admit that when you knew me in Europe, it was important for me to test myself that way. And I was rather fearless. But that was the nadir of my existence. My life now is complete and happy, and I'm scared of my own shadow. Ooh!

Cliff: Hey, what kind of aircraft you got up there, Dalton? Messerschmitt? Fokker?
Jack Dalton: No, it's a Bobcat with a couple of Pratt & Whitney JT1 5D-1A engines. Twenty-two hundred pounds of thrust apiece.
Cliff: Hey, good little birdy.

Diane: I'd really rather not go flying tonight.
Sam: What?
Diane: Sam, please. Tell him I have to work tonight, and I couldn't possibly accompany him.
Sam: I have a better idea. Why don't you do it. You were his berry-bottomed baby.