Diane: Gretchen Darrow, Sam Malone.
Gretchen: Hello.
Sam: Hi.
Diane: Yes, you and Gretchen have a lot in common. She's a grad student working on her thesis in kinesiology.
Sam: Oh, small world.
Gretchen: That's the study of physical movement, Sam.
Sam: Ah.
Diane: Akin to athletics.
Sam: Uh-huh.
Diane: She also lettered in three sports.
Gretchen: So, you're the Sam Malone that used to pitch for the Sox, right?
Sam: Yeah, yeah, as a matter of fact I am.

Sam: I can't believe this.
Diane: I knew you'd like her. I'm a pretty good judge of people. So, let's see how you are. Where's my guy?
Sam: Your guy? Well, as a matter of fact, he's in the poolroom. [Carla laughs] Shut up. I'll just go back and get him right now. You just hang on here. He's probably... right back here.

Sam: Excuse me. What's your name?
Andy: Andy. Why?
Sam: What are you doing tonight, Andy?
Andy: Why do you ask?
Sam: Oh, no, no, no. I got an extra girl on my hands.
Andy: Oh, I see.
Sam: It's worth $20 if you'll go out with her.
Andy: Why would you give me 20 bucks to take out a girl?
Sam: The 20 bucks is not to go out with her. It's for a little lie. Pretend like we've known each other a long time and that we set this up yesterday. What d'you say? My name's Sam, by the way.
Andy: Sam. I probably know that, don't l? Uh, Sam, what if this girl doesn't like me?
Sam: That's all right. She doesn't like anybody.

Gretchen: What are you looking at, endomorph?
Norm: Nothing. Nothing, sir.

Sam: We're gonna take off now. You two have a good time.
Diane: You two, too. Andy Andy and I will have fun fun. So, what do you think, Andy? How does Italian food sound? Oh, boy, I've been hungry for Italian food all day.
Andy: Anywhere but Via Milano. That's bad memories for me. I killed a waitress there.
Sam: We'll double.
Diane: Did you hear what he said?

Carla: Listen, Coach, you're not gonna believe this. I was just talking to the guys in the back-
Coach: I'd like to believe it, Carla.
Carla: No, Coach, not that. You know who that guy that Sam just set Diane up with is?
Coach: Who?
Carla: He just got out of the pen after doing 10 years for manslaughter. [all laugh]
Cliff: Oh, hey, that must be them now. I saw them taking off on a motorcycle.
Carla: You mean Diane had to ride piggyback on a motorcycle? That's great.

Andy: You didn't think we were gonna make that last jump, did you?
Sam: Here we are. Anybody need anything?
Gretchen: A five-minute head start?
Sam: Why don't we sit down and pick up the conversation where we left off? So, where were we? [silence] Yeah, that was about it.
Andy: You ever dream that you have claws?
Gretchen: That's it for me. I've gotta run. Don't get up. I'm warning you. Good night, all.
Diane: If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go scrape the bugs off my teeth.

Sam: Well, I guess that just about does it there for you, Andy. Thank you very much.
Andy: Thank you. Sam, everything all right?
Sam: Oh, perfect.
Andy: Hard to tell. She didn't say much. Except for that little scream she let out when I asked the waiter for a sharper knife. Bye.

Sam: Look, see, I actually didn't think that you were gonna get me a girl.
Diane: What did you think I'd get you?
Sam: I thought... Well, I guess I... l thought that you were talking about us. You and me. I thought that you thought you were the ideal date for me and vice versa.
Diane: Really? You thought that I... That we...?
Sam: I'm embarrassed. I am so embarrassed.

Sam: Here you go. Andy, I'd like you to meet Diane. And this is Gretchen.
Andy: Oh, I finally meet Gretchen. Sam talks about you all the time. Gretchen, Gretchen, Gretchen.
Gretchen: He just met me.
Sam: But I knew you'd be coming along any day. No, this is your date, Diane Chambers.
Diane: Hello.
Andy: How do you do? Diane, I'd like you to meet my good buddy Andy... Andy.
Diane: Andy Andy. [chuckles] Well, that should be easy to remember. How do you two know each other?
Sam: Well, she asks good questions, doesn't she? Good question.
Andy: We met in the pool...
Sam: At the Y. We do a lot of swimming, kicking, all your basic water sports. Hey, now we're getting into your area of expertise, aren't we, Gretchen?
Gretchen: Swimming is one of the finest cardiopulmonary exercises. It's also wonderful for the development of all the major muscle groups, particularly the latissimus dorsi.
Sam: Boy, I bet you're kicking yourself that I got to her first.