Diane: Oh, there's something shiny!
Sam: No. Just another paper wrapper.
Diane: Oh, look at us. We're filthy.
Sam: Yeah. By the way, I hate that dress.
Diane: Considering the circumstances under which it was obtained, it's hardly one of my favorites anymore.
Sam: Well, okay. Then I can count on you not wearing it when you visit me in the poorhouse that you put me in.
Diane: Oh, Sam, get off it.
Sam: No, no, no, wait a second. Le- Let's tally up the damages here. The first ring was $1,200. The box was $290. Four lovely pink frocks was a mere $950. The, uh, damages on the car will be at least a grand. And let's not forget about the $5,200 bite I was hoping to avoid in the first place. Bringing it to a grand total of $9,000 for a ring I no longer have.
Diane: Well, I hasten to add that this was all of your own volition.
Sam: Ah.
Diane: $290 for the box?
Sam: Yeah. Do you like do you like corn on the cob?

Diane: Even had that been the bargain ring, it would've been sinfully impetuous of me to cast it away.
Sam: Well, here's the bargain ring right now. Why don't you give it the old heave-ho, too?
Diane: Hmm. I'm somehow reminded of a fable penned by an anonymous 18th century author concerning the young mistress of a great feudal estate and a woodchopper who worked on the estate...
Sam: Diane not now, please?
Diane: Could I just tell you the moral?
Sam: What?
Diane: You're really neat.
Hardly a rich soul, I know. The fact remains that no matter what the cost a ring is, above all else, a symbol of the feelings that two people have for each other. So, truly, Sam, this is the ring I want.
Sam: Whoa, whoa, whoa, here. Let me do this. [puts the ring on Diane's finger] [kisses Diane] Uh.
Diane: But nothing says we can't keep looking.

Sam: Hey, hey, hey. Hey, you guys, you want to see a classic? Here, watch. Hi, Diane.
Diane: Hi, Sam.
Sam: Oh boy, hey, you know, that finger looks a little warm there. Maybe you should cool it down with some ice.
Diane: [gasps] Sam.
Sam: What? What? What's the matter? What's wrong?
Diane: Nothing. It's beautiful. Oh. Oh. Just think, hours ago, I was admiring this magnificent ring in the window, thinking it was an unattainable treasure. And now, here it is on my finger.
Sam: Yep, there it is, all right. That's the one. How about that, huh?
Diane: Oh, thank you, thank you.

Norm: So I don't see any ring here. What gives, you guys, huh?
Sam: Well, we're doing a little window shopping.
Norm: Yeah?
Sam: But she's got her eye on a big ol' diamond in the window of, uh, Barton and Lyles.
Norm: Yeah?
Diane: Oh, no, no, Sam. Now that's much too expensive. I would be content with any one of the smaller stones we saw today.
Sam: Oh, now wait a second. Hey, Woody, give me the phone there, will ya? Listen, you might as well have the best ring. You got the best husband. Hmm?
Diane: Is it any wonder I love you? I'm twice blessed. I'm getting the most wonderful guy and one helluva rock.

Sam: [on the phone] Hi, uh, you got a ring in the window there by the door? It's a big diamond with two little diamonds on either side there. Yeah, uh, that's the one. Yeah, how- How much does that cost? [laughs] [hangs up]
Woody: How much?
Sam: Fifty-two hundred. [all laugh] Boy, what am I going to do here?
Norm: Bruce.
Sam: What?
Norm: Friend of mine in the jewelry business. He buys diamonds and gold wholesale and then you don't have to pay the markup, which is like a zillion percent.
Sam: Oh, you know, that- that's kinda silly.
Norm: No, no. It's the same gold, same diamonds.
Sam: Well, if it's the same ring, it's the same ring.
Norm: Absolutely.

Frasier: Uh, Sam, I don't think that's a good idea.
Sam: Why not?
Frasier: Diane's not the kind of woman who'd like to find out that her ring was bought from a jeweler who begins every transaction with, "Psst, buddy."
Sam: Oh, no, you make you're makin' it sound worse than it is. I mean, I'm sure everything's legit.
Norm: [on the phone] All right, fine, Bruce. Great. [hangs up] Psst, Sammy, come here.

Sam: Dee-daa. Huh? Not bad for 1,200 bucks, huh?
Woody: Wow, I'll say.
Norm: Hey, Carla, you, uh, see the ring that Sammy got for Diane here?
Carla: You know, I'm thinking about having my house texture-coated. You have your choice of 24 decorator colors.
Frasier: Amazing.
Carla: Yeah, and surprisingly reasonable.

Norm: Hey, uh, Carla, do you realize that when Sammy and Diane get married, uh, Diane's going to be your boss?
Carla: Nice shirt, Norm. Is it new?

Diane: Sam I felt that I couldn't possibly ask you for this, but now that you've actually gone out and purchased it, I can tell you. This is the only ring I ever wanted.
Sam: Mmm.
Diane: Where's the box?
Sam: Box?
Diane: Yeah, you know, the one it came in.
Sam: Oh, yeah, uh this, this one didn't seem to come with one of those, did it?
[Sam covertly passes the brown envelope to Norm who passes it Cliff]
Diane: Really? Oh, I'm surprised they didn't give you one, especially considering how much this must have cost.
Sam: Oh, well, they did, they did. It's just that I told them, uh, keep the box. She'll just wear it. That's what I said, all right.

Diane: Sam?
Sam: Yeah.
Diane: This may sound frivolous, but every woman wants to keep the box that her engagement ring came in. I already have a space reserved for it in my memento drawer, right between my French Club pin and my retainer.