Diane: In that case, let me just say... of all the cheap, small-minded, creepy, sophomoric pranks you have perpetrated in your long, arrested adolescence, this is far and away the worst. How could you, Sam?
Sam: So, he wasn't your ideal date. I'm big enough to admit when I'm wrong.
Diane: Did you really think this was amusing? Did you have lots of laughs planning it?
Sam: Diane, I swear to you, I wasn't trying to be funny.
Diane: What were you trying to do?
Sam: The truth is, I never saw the guy before in my life. I met him in the back room and I paid him to go out with you.
Diane: You hired a murderer to take me out for the evening.
Sam: Well, it's kind of funny when you put it that way.