Sam: Coach, come here. Listen, everybody. This is for Carla's kid. It's going to be our kid.
Coach: Oh, yeah, I can teach it how to slide into second base.
Sam: Oh, you can't, Coach. Remember your back.
Coach: Well, I can teach him how to swim.
Sam: Uh, you're afraid of the water, Coach.
Coach: Well, I can teach him how to tie a Windsor knot.
Sam: Why do you think you wear clip-ons?
Coach: Well, I can just sit there.