Emcee: Uh, now for the final performer this evening, let's put our hands together for the merry mailman, Cliff Clavin. Come on, put 'em together.
Cliff: Hey. Oh, yeah, thanks. Uh, hi ya! So, uh, Boston audiences are the greatest audiences in the world. [silence; a few people leave] Uh, you know, I got this friend, uh, whose son is gonna become a priest. I know where this is going. "My son, the father." What's up with that? [silence]
Norm: I never thought I'd see a whole roomful of people not laughing at Cliff.
Cliff: Well, hey, let's see what topics we got in the ol' mailbag, huh? Hey, oh, uh, here's one. [a couple leave] Uh, anybody have a chance to call a TV repairman lately? What's up with that? [chuckles] [another couple leave, with only Norm & Paul left] Here's a doozy. Avon lady, ding dong. What's up with that?
Paul: Well, that's it for me. [exits]
Cliff: Well, I know, uh, seriously, folks, on-on a serious note I just want to say... drinking and driving. What's up with that? Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. I've really enjoyed it, uh, and I gotta say this is the most love I've ever felt in one room in my life. Thank you. Thank you. [Norm claps]
Cliff: Normie, where'd everybody go?
Norm: There was a, uh, bomb scare.
Cliff: Really? Where?
Norm: Right about where you were standing.