Frasier: Sam, you know, you've been uncharacteristically mute. I mean, surely you have some opinion on this.
Sam: No, no, do it, man. I think you should walk off together into the sunset, you know? Live happily ever after.
Frasier: "Translation: Frasier Crane, you're a complete fool if you get married."
Sam: I did not say that.
Frasier: Now, listen, Sam, I know exactly what you're thinking. I mean, every fiber of your body speaks it. You live it every day. Give me one good reason why the single life is better than being married.
Sam: Okay, uh... Well, let's see. When I get home, I don't have to explain to anybody, uh, where I've been or what I've been doing. If I was out having a good time, I don't have to call home to see if I can stay later.
Hugh: Oh, that reminds me. [rushes to the pay phone]
Sam: There, right there. There you go. See, that's what you're losing, man. Your freedom. You know, I can eat doughnuts for dinner if I want to. Nobody nags me to put down the toilet seat. I am the king of my own remote control. I can date anybody I want to, and if somebody better turns up - and somebody always does, bless their hearts - then I can date them the very next night. You know, I don't have to worry about forgetting an anniversary, no mother-in-laws, no father-in-laws, no laws, period.
Frasier: I only asked for one reason.