Diane: I challenge you to a waitressing contest. Whoever gets the most tips between now and closing time wins.
Carla: You're on, sucker. I'll even give you a ten buck head start.
Diane: That's an insult! And thank you. We'll need a judge to make sure this contest is conducted on the up and up.
Carla: It's Sam's bar, we'll let him be judge.
Sam: Oh, ladies, I'm honored, but don't you think it would be better to find someone who gives a rat's behind?
Coach: Well, I do, make me the judge.
Diane: Oh, we couldn't have a more impartial judge.
Coach: Well, thank you, Diane. Now, if either one of you suspects any wrongdoing, you come to me and I'll make an immediate and final decision.
Carla: Do we have any appeal?
Coach: Well, I think you're both cute as a button, but that's not going to affect my decision.