Coach: Hey, Artie. It's good to see you after all these years. You look great.
Artie: Well, I feel fine, although it could be happier circumstances. Say, when did you hear the shocking news about T-Bone?
Coach: Well, I was in the john and I overheard Sam and Diane. You mean you knew about it?
Artie: Of course, it's in all the papers.
Coach: Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Artie: The afternoon edition even had pictures.
Coach: Pictures?! I'm a laughing stock.
Sam: No, Coach, you misunderstood.
Artie: Coach, I think it's great you're having a ceremony for T-Bone.
Coach: Well, there ain't going to be a ceremony for T-Bone, Artie. That filthy pig.
Artie: Why, Coach?
Coach: You read it in the papers!