Sam: It was a accident.
Carla: Sammy, are you okay?
Sam: You ever had a pot of chili fly by your face at the speed of light?
Carla: No.
Sam: Don't.

Norm: Look at the hole in that wall.
Cliff: Who could miss it, huh?
Norm: No, I'm talking about the brick wall across the alley. Man, that pressure cooker really wanted out of here.

Rebecca: Okay, everybody out of here, out. Come on, everybody, out! Go back to the bar, please. Not you. I want to talk to you.
Sam: Don't you think maybe I should go to a trauma center first? S- Some of this could be me. Oh, come on, I know what you're thinking here, but I- I didn't do this on purpose. I swear to God I didn't do it on purpose.
Rebecca: You did it just because I started doing really well back here and you're jealous. Y- You're just a big baby.
Sam: I am not.
Rebecca: Yes, you are. You want everything for you and nothing for me.
Sam: Well, yeah, if that's being a big baby, okay, but... But I'm a... I'm a guy. I'm supposed to be a big baby. And you're a woman. You know, you're supposed to be like a nice mommy and tell me everything's okay and, and pat me on the head.
Rebecca: I would like to pat you on the head with a pickax.

Sam: I just feel terrible. I feel like I could cry.
Rebecca: Okay.
Sam: Okay what?
Rebecca: Cry.
Sam: What do you mean?
Rebecca: I mean, make water come out of your eyes. And that way I will know that you are really sorry for what you've done here.

Sam: Just cry?
Rebecca: Yep.
Sam: Does it count if, you know, if you really want to cry, but you can't?
Rebecca: No. Cry, Sam.
Sam: Huh. [mock sobbing]
Rebecca: No onions. I want real tears. Now, just cry.
Sam: Give me a break. What am I supposed to...? I mean, isn't this enough? A guy... A guy who can't cry? I mean, that is heartbreaking. Honey, there's nothing sadder than a man who can't cry.

Rebecca: There. Now we can go. Come on.
Sam: What was that sound?
Rebecca: Oh, that was the sound of me breaking all the windows out of your Corvette. [Sam sobs] There, now there are those tears.

Sam: Honey, you're crazy. I- I have people coming in here just to shoot stick. I mean, I bet that poolroom makes me an extra hundred bucks a night.
Rebecca: Yeah, well, I bet with my tearoom, I could make 500 bucks tonight.
Sam: 500 bucks in one night?
Rebecca: Yes.
Sam: What else are you selling back there?