Customer #1: Are you crazy? He's the enemy.
Customer #2: No, I think he's okay. I was in Cheers when he quit. It was real ugly.
Customer #1: I don't know. Uh, you think we can trust him?
Gary: Well...
Woody: Gary?
Gary: Yeah?
Woody: I found a nickel in the pocket of this apron. You know who it belongs to or should I put up a flyer?
Gary: I think we can trust him.

Ed Fogerty: Well, I wish I could give all of you an award, but there can only be one winner...
Gary: Surprise, Malone. I made it.
Sam: Hey. No, he's disqualified. He's late. [booing] You were late, man.
Gary: I didn't get the message about the time change. They tried to keep me away, but it didn't work.
Man: Yeah, right! It didn't work.
Sam: That's a lie and you should be disqualified for making a slanderous remark and for wearing that shirt with those pants. [laughs]
Ed Fogerty: There's still time for another entry.
Gary: All right! [cackles] Here. Try a real Bloody Mary.
Ed Fogerty: [raises Gary's hand] Hands down, the winner.
Gary: All right! [chants] Olde Towne Tavern! Olde Towne Tavern! Olde Towne Tavern! Olde Towne Tavern! [talks] Hey! Hey, hey, Sam here's a little bit of advice for you: give up while you got a shred of dignity left. Oops, too late.
Sam: All clear?
Tim: All clear. [cheering]
Sam: [hugs "Ed Fogerty"] Oh, my man Woody! That's good, man. Take that makeup off.

Ed Fogerty: And the winner of Boston's annual Bloody Mary contest is... Gary's Olde Towne Tavern!
Gary: Yeah! Where have I heard that before? You know, Sam, that was a stroke of genius having Li'l Abner there playing the judge. And I got to admit I fell for it until I got within about 20 feet.
Sam: Yeah, very funny. You know, we're gonna get you next year, Gary, and it's not going to be very pretty.
Gary: Oh, yeah?
Sam: Yeah.
Gary: Oh, yeah?
Sam: Yeah.
Gary: Don't try to outfox me because you can't. Every time you think you got me fooled, I'm one step ahead of you. But I got to admit, this time you came... [holds arms far apart] that close. [laughs]
Sam: Very funny. Very funny.
Rebecca: I can't believe he did it again.

Carla: And from here on in, whether we win or lose, what's really important to remember - and I'm saying this in the spirit of true sportsmen everywhere - is Gary won't win!
Sam: Yeah!
All: [chant] Gary won't win! Gary won't win! Gary won't win!
Gary: [enters] Hey, guys I am on to you.
Sam: Oh, man, I give up.
Gary: Now hand over my wallet.
Sam: Your what?
Gary: Come on. Somebody took my wallet.
Carla: Yeah, someone handed it in. You must've dropped it when you were leaving the bar.
Gary: Yeah, yeah. Thanks. So long, chumps. [exits]
All: [chant quietly] Gary won't win. Gary won't win. Gary won't win.