Sam: Hey, guys, guys, guys. What's the big rush here? Give him a chance. He's only about five minutes late.
Norm: Actually, I think we might be underestimating Woody. You know, something tells me he might actually pull this thing off.
[Carla notices Woody hanging upside down in front of the door]
Carla: Hey! Hey!
Norm: Wait, there's a note. What's it say? [Woody moaning] "Compliments of Gary's. We deliver."
Woody: [muffled speaking]
Sam: What? What are you trying to say?
Norm: He's trying to say something.
Sam: What are you?
Woody: Don't rip off the tape! [screams]

Frasier: Well, now just a minute. That's Woody? My God. This is amazing makeup. This is just incredible. This was part of some elaborate ruse, huh?
Woody: Yeah, we set the whole thing up.
Sam: Yeah, that way we can get Gary out of here before the real contest starts.
Frasier: And when you made such a fool of yourself pretending to be a nun?
Woody: That was part of the plan.
Frasier: When you went to work for Gary?
Woody: Part of the plan.
Frasier: When you told Gary the time of the contest had changed?
Woody: All part of the plan.
Gary: [enters] Hey, guys I'm ready for the real contest.
Woody: Not part of the plan.

Sam: Hey, hey. Whoa, whoa. Would you guys stop horsing around here? I'm serious. I want this guy Gary, and I want him bad. I am tired of having him do everything better than we do. He's got a better softball team, a better tag football team.
Cliff: Better T-shirts.
Sam: They have T-shirts?
Cliff: Here. I'll show you. [unbuttons his shirt]
Norm: Oh, yeah. I've got that one in red.
Alan: Ooh! They have them in red now?
Cliff: But you got to preorder. They're 100% cotton. All the sizes are very true.
Alan: I'll order one this afternoon.
Sam: Listen, you guys are not taking me seriously. I mean it. I want to hurt this guy where he lives.
Cliff: Speaking of that, have you seen his house? He's renovating this beautiful old Victorian. It's on the cover of Boston magazine.
Alan: I saw that.
Norm: I hear he's coming out with a new T-shirt of it, too.

Carla: Anyway, I got it. You are looking at the last ounce of black cardamom on the Eastern seaboard.
Norm: Ooh. Nice. Sammy, let's see that stuff, huh?
Alan: Sammy, you really think that stuff is going help us win the contest?
Sam: Are you kidding me? Wait until you see what this does to the taste of a Bloody Mary. Whoo, boy! This is pretty pungent stuff, huh?
[As Woody brings an empty glass back to the bar, he sneezes as he stands over the black cardamom, spending a plume of it everywhere.]
Woody: Oh, my God! My allergy. Did someone bring some black cardamom in here?
Carla: Woody! It's all gone!
Sam: Great. There goes the contest.
Woody: Well, big deal. In about 20 minutes, I'm going to swell up like a blowfish.
Carla: Well, what what are we supposed to do now?
Woody: Usually, I pack my face in ice.

Rebecca: Sam, guess what I've got under my coat.
Sam: If I guess right, can I keep them?
Rebecca: No, you idiot. I've got some of Gary's top secret Bloody Mary mix.
Sam: Hey, way to go, Rebecca! Baby, how did you get it?
Rebecca: How do you think I got it? [twirls]
Carla: You did that dorky twirl, and, when he laughed, you grabbed it and ran.
Rebecca: Okay, fine. Forget it. I'm not going to tell you.
Sam: Oh, come on. We won't make fun of you.
Rebecca: All right. That thing Carla said.

Rebecca: Hey, hey, you guys, don't drink it all. I have to take some to the lab.
Carla: This is great. Gary deserves to win this contest every year.
Rebecca: It's almost worth cramming myself into this dress.
Norm: Hey, I'd dress up as a hooker to get some of this stuff.
Sam: Oh, come on, you guys. It can't be that special. I suppose you're going to tell me that Cheers has never made a Bloody Mary this good.
Cliff: Sammy, Cheers never made anything this good. I wonder what's in it.
[As Woody goes to drink the Bloody Mary, he sneezes and drops the glass]
Woody: Well, we know there's black cardamom in it.
Rebecca: Damn it, Woody!

Gary: Ah! Cheers where good times go to die.
Cliff: Well, well, well! If it isn't Gary from Gary's Olde Towne Tavern. Look, pal, didn't I tell you if you step one more foot in here you'd have me to answer to?
Gary: Yeah, and I told you if you got in my way you'd wind up in the next zip code.
Cliff: Then we have had this discussion, huh?

Gary: Okay, okay, I'm going back to the Olde Towne Tavern, where my exclusive satellite coverage of the World Welterweight title fight is about to get underway.
[A flood of patrons rushes for the door]
Sam: Hey. Hey, wait. Hey, come on.
Carla: Where the hell do you think you're going?
Cliff: Uh... just taking a little stroll.
[Norm and Cliff do a loop around the bar and return to their stools]
Norm: Ah! That was refreshing, wasn't it?

Norm: Hey, Doc. What's going on?
Frasier: Well, for one thing, I find myself baching it again.
Carla: Lilith finally blow her brains out?
Frasier: No. But thank you for asking after her, Carla.
Cliff: So where is the lovely Dr. Sternin?
Frasier: Well, she's in Albany for a few days attending a conference on gender stereotyping.
Tim: Gender stereotyping?
Frasier: Yes. It's unfairly attributing certain modes of behavior exclusively to one sex.
Norm: That sounds kind of boring. Why did she go to that?
Frasier: Who knows? You know women.

Sam: Wait a minute, Woody, come here, come here. Woody, Woody, Woody, I've got a plan. Listen up.
Rebecca: Shh! Gary had a camera in here the other day. He could have a spy in here now. And the whole place could be bugged. Come on, you guys.
Sam: Whoa, whoa. Don't take off in a clump like that. It'll look suspicious. Everybody split up. We'll hook up outside.
[Sam, Carla, Woody, Rebecca, Norm and Cliff head off in different directions around the bar. After a moment's pause, they all start to head for the door.]
Sam: No, no, no! You're clumping up again. Spread out.
[As Sam heads out of the door, everybody else turns back into the bar. After being outside for a moment, Sam taps on the door to get their attention. The group again moves as one.]
Sam: No, you're clumping up again.