Rebecca: Sam, forget it. I'm going to let that man out of there.
Sam: Hey, don't give up. Don't give up.
Rebecca: What do you want me to do? You want me to masquerade as a chauffeur, get him alone on the highway, and tell the man I want to have his babies? [loudly] Martin, I'll be getting that key now.

Rebecca: Oh, God. This has been the worst night of my life.
Sam: Oh.
Rebecca: Of anybody's life. I pour out my heart and soul to the man I love, then he tells me he's taking someone else across the globe.
Sam: I hate guys like that. [closes the curtains]
Rebecca: And she's really cute, Sam.
Sam: Oh.
Rebecca: And they made out in the back seat. And he didn't even roll up the window.
Sam: The man is a pig. [dims the lights]

Rebecca: [answers phone] Hello.
Sam: Hi. Listen, if this is what it takes to be a friend, then I really want to give it a shot, okay? So we've got all evening here. Pour your heart out.
Rebecca: Where are you?
Sam: I'm downstairs at a pay phone. [clears throat] But just, uh, pretend like I'm right there beside you, all right?
Rebecca: Thanks, Sam.
Sam: Yeah. Yeah, you're welcome.
Rebecca: Well [weepy] as you know, I have loved Evan Drake since the first time I saw him.
Sam: I know.
Rebecca: Sam, this is silly. Get up here.
Sam: No...
Rebecca: Sam, you know what I've been through. You're not going to take advantage of me.
Sam: Oh, yeah? Do me a favor, will you? Check your bra.
Rebecca: How did you do that?

Cliff: You know that Drake guy? He's probably the kind of bloke that has his knuckle hair removed with electrolysis. Yeah, he's probably got one of those electronic zappers that he uses to forestall his receding hairline. And I bet ya, I bet ya a dime to a donut, that he has his loofer and he rubs himself raw to get rid of his cellulite. Well, it was in last month's Soldier of Fortune, okay?

Evan Drake: Excuse me. Rebecca, can we talk?
Rebecca: Excuse me, Sam. I'm being beckoned.
Sam: Listen, if- if this is what you think it is, can I give you some advice?
Rebecca: What?
Sam: If you're going to make an ass of yourself, take it outside.
Rebecca: I'm not going to make an ass of myself.
Sam: All right.
Rebecca: [walks into a chair] I was just getting it out of my system.

Rebecca: Sam, I can't tell him.
Sam: Oh, please, please, do this for me, will you? I've been watching this sappy movie for God knows how long. I want to see if the girl gets the guy.
Rebecca: If only once I'd ever had any little bit of encouragement from him. Some teeny, tiny shred of evidence that he even knew I existed.
Sam: Well, now, he- he did express some concern while you were out cold there.
Rebecca: Oh, yeah, I bet. What'd he say?
Sam: Gee, I- I hope she's not dead.
Rebecca: He did? Oh, God. And all this time I thought maybe I was kidding myself.

Sam: Hey, hey, hey, huh? How about that? According to vulture time, I bet that's my, uh, wounded little sparrow right now. [answers phone] Hello? Hi, Rebecca. O- Okay. Uh, can you hold one second, please? [to Carla] Quote: "Sam, I need your help." Unquote. [on the phone] Yeah. I'm- l'm taking off right now.

Evan Drake: Rebecca, I've got to use the phone here.
Rebecca: Oh, you're a phone person, too? So am l. Isn't it amazing how much we have in common?
Evan Drake: Thanks.

Rebecca: Sam, listen. Don't you find it interesting that of all the fine restaurants in Boston to dine, that Evans should repeatedly dine at Melville's right upstairs from where I can be found every day of the week?
Sam: No, no. But I do find it interesting that your button's undone there, and your bra has a little bow in the middle.
Sam: So, uh, what, you think the big guy's finally coming around, huh?
Rebecca: No, he's in there using my phone. Can't you see? Since his divorce became final, he uses all of his spare time to be around me. He is in my office right now sitting in my chair, his lips just inches from the mouthpiece that I use every day.
Sam: You're right. I'm an idiot.

Rebecca: He is leaving for Japan tonight forever, and I never got to tell him how I feel.
Sam: Well, hey- No, wait. You know, listen, why don't you tell him at the good-bye party?
Rebecca: What good-bye party?
Sam: The one you're gonna throw for him tonight. Listen, it's a great idea. I'll make it a- a Japanese theme. Yeah, yeah, we'll have chips and cheese.