‘And God Created Woodman’
Season 6, Episode 14 - Aired January 14, 1988
Woody takes the blame when Rebecca accidentally breaks an expensive vase at a cocktail party she organized for the company's chairman. Meanwhile, Cliff starts selling mail-order shoes.
Quote from Woody
Woody: Isn't this place something, Sam?
Sam: Ooh, yeah.
Woody: I think it's even nicer than Wheeler's Funeral Parlor in Hanover. Of course, that's not the most fun place in town.
Sam: Well, I'll bet not.
Woody: That would be Bob's Funeral Parlor.
Quote from Sam
Sam: Great party, huh?
Linda: Yes. I'll have a Manhattan.
Sam: What? Oh, this. Well, you think I'm a bartender, huh?
Linda: What do you think you are?
Sam: Well, to tell you the truth, I used to be a bartender, but now I'm an eccentric millionaire. I just dress like this to remind myself of my modest beginnings.
Rebecca: Back behind the bar.
Sam: I pay her to say that. It keeps me humble.
Rebecca: Malone, now! [clicks her fingers]
Sam: Ooh, that was a good one, huh? I'm going to have to give her a raise, huh? Looking good.
Quote from Sam
Linda: Let me guess: you're not really rich at all, are you?
Sam: Well, now, define "rich." I have my health.
Linda: I uh, think I'll just stick with the drink.
Sam: Let me get this straight: when you thought that I was a millionaire, you were ready to go out with me, but now that I'm just a healthy bartender, you don't want to have anything to do with me. I gotta tell you, lady, that makes you an incredibly shallow person.
Linda: Do you actually think this sort of approach is going to work?
Sam: [chuckles] Absolutely. You see, I'm an incredibly shallow person myself. Between the two of us, we couldn't make a decent wading pool. What do you say, huh?
Linda: Don't I know you from somewhere?
Sam: Yeah, well, you probably caught me out at Fenway, huh?
Linda: Of course. I bought a bag of peanuts from you.
Quote from Rebecca
Woody: Go figure, Miss Howe. I mean, you break the vase, and I end up being the big boss' buddy. Isn't life funny?
Rebecca: Do you mean funny "ha-ha" or funny "a living nightmare"?
Woody: Is something wrong, Miss Howe?
Rebecca: Yes, something is wrong. I am the one who should be playing pool. I'm the one who should be smoking cigars and drinking brandy. I'm the one who should be going out with his granddaughter. You know what I mean.
Quote from Frasier
Pete: Hey, Cliff, I got to hand it to you. These are really comfortable.
Cliff: Eh, you bet ya.
Sam: What style are these?
Frasier: The Star Fighter.
Sam: Oh.
Frasier: Yes. I was sorely tempted to get the Coup de Villes, but, uh, I do love tassels, so...
Quote from Sam
Rebecca: Announcement! Announcement! I just got a phone call, and if things work out, it might be my ticket out of here. [all cheering] Don't you even want to know what it's about?
Sam: There's more?
Quote from Woody
Rebecca: Okay, I'm going to need the best of everything: the best food, the best liquor.
Sam: The best bartenders.
Rebecca: You? [laughs]
Woody: [laughs] Good one, Sam.
Sam: Did I say something funny here?
Woody: Well, actually, I didn't get it either. I was just laughing to be polite. But in my own defense, I do get some things that no one else does.
Quote from Woody
Woody: Miss Howe, with all due respect, that nincompoop crack really hurt.
Rebecca: Woody, I didn't call you a nincompoop.
Woody: All right, then why you won't let us tend bar at your party? Is it because you think we're incompetent? You think we're not smooth enough? You think we're uncouth?
Rebecca: No, I need you here.
Woody: Oh, okay. Let's go, Sam.
Quote from Sam
Sam: Oh, my God. Woody, is it me or is that woman gorgeous?
Woody: You look nice, Sam, but I'm going to have to go with the woman.
Sam: Do me a favor here, will ya, buddy? Hold down the fort here while I pass that lady a tray of smoked Sammy.
Quote from Sam
Woody: Oh Boy, Sam, I really feel sorry for her.
Sam: Never thought I'd say it, but so do l. Look at this party she threw together here, and then that happens. Poor kid.
Woody: You think they'll make me manager?
Sam: Hey, yo, over here.