Cheers Quotes



Cheers is a Boston bar where "everybody knows your name", run by former baseball player and recovering alcoholic Sam Malone.

Starring: Ted Danson, Shelley Long, Kirstie Alley, Rhea Perlman, John Ratzenberger, George Wendt, Kelsey Grammer, Woody Harrelson, Nicholas Colasanto, Bebe Neuwirth.
Recurring Actors: Paul Willson, Jackie Swanson, Roger Rees, Keene Curtis, Dan Hedaya, Frances Sternhagen.
Original Run: 1982-1993.

Quote of the Day

Quote from Cliff in One Happy Chappy in a Snappy Serape

Carla: I don't know what that Latin lover said, but I sure dig the way he said it.
Cliff: Well, if you ask me, Ramon's a lot more Latin than lover. Yeah, you know, study after study show that the old sons of Spain just don't have our sexual prowess.
Norm: Cliffie, nobody has your sexual prowess.
Cliff: Thanks, Norm. You know, it seems that the tropical sun dries out a man's vital juices. You ever seen a raisin?
Norm: Have you ever seen a doctor?


Popular Quotes

Quote from Norm in Tan 'n' Wash

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Paul: Hey, Norm, how's the world been treatin' ya?
Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.

Quote from Cliff in Teaching with the Enemy

Frasier: I want you all to know... I'm not blaming her. It's because of me that my life is in the arms of another man.
Woody: Uh, well, you mean "wife," don't you, Dr. Crane?
Frasier: What?
Woody: You said "life." "It's because of me my life is in the arms of another man."
Cliff: Oh, that's a- That's a Freudian slip there, Woody.
Woody: What's a Freudian slip?
Cliff: Oh, that's when you say one thing when you're actually thinking about a mother.

Quote from Woody in Don't Shoot... I'm Only the Psychiatrist

Woody: I can't believe it. I'm being shunned. Just like back in Hanover. Just like with the Amish.
Norm: Wood? Who, uh, who shunned you back in Hanover?
Woody: The Amish. Weren't you here for this part?

Trending Quotes

Quote from Woody in Christmas Cheers

Tracy: No, I'm just going to go over to my mom's house. She's probably still up getting everything ready for tomorrow.
Sam: Yeah.
Tracy: You know, baking the bread and icing the cookies and stuffing the turkey.
Woody: Stuffing?
Tracy: Oh, yeah, my mom makes it from scratch.
Woody: Gee, so does mine.
Tracy: Yeah, but does your mom make it bone dry?
Woody: You could gag on it. Hey, don't tell me. Do you have a manger scene on your front lawn?
Tracy: The biggest on our block.
Woody: Oh.
Tracy: The Wise Men are my favorite.
Woody: Oh, I love Balthasar.
Tracy: Oh, Balthasar's good, but Melchior, he's the best.
Sam: Okay, well... Listen, I'd introduce you two, but something tells me you've known each other for years.

Quote from Woody in Our Hourly Bread

Woody: And the winner of the Cheers all-expense paid trip to the Caribbean is Number 99.
Man #1: Hey, that's me! [applause and cheering; Caribbean music plays]
Sam: Say, Woody, uh, when you turn this 99 upside down, it kind of looks like a 66, doesn't it?
Woody: It sure does. Uh, excuse me. We have a correction. The winner is 66.
Sam: Don't.
Man #2: I've got it. I'm 66! [cheering; Caribbean music plays]
Man #1: Everybody, stop the music, stop the music! [music stops] What's going on here? You called 99.
Woody: It is 99! [cheering; music resumes]
Sam: Whoa, whoa. [whistles] Hey, stop the music here. Uh, Wood, Woody, man, we've got a little problem here.

Quote from Nick Tortelli in Loathe and Marriage

Nick Tortelli: Carla, I have to be honest with you. When I heard about this wedding, I was very hurt that you excluded us. After all, a marriage is a time for forgiveness and healing. We drove 22 hours to get here. We even bought a beautiful present. [snaps fingers twice]
Loretta: It's a set of Star Trek steak knives.
Nick Tortelli: Anyway, I have a right to be here. I'm, uh, I'm gonna stay.
Carla: Yeah? You can just drive 22 hours back.
Sam: Oh, come on, Carla. It took them so long to get here.
Rebecca: And- And, you know, he is her father.
Carla: Oh, fine, fine. You want Nick to be at my daughter's wedding? Well, you can have him. Just have a great time!
Sam: Oh, come on, Carla.
Nick Tortelli: Yeah, women, women. Isn't it enough we sleep with them?