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‘Your Honor’ Quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Your Honor

419. Your Honor

Aired May 16, 2017

Captain Holt's mom (guest star L. Scott Caldwell) seeks support from the precinct after her house is robbed. Meanwhile, Terry, Rosa and Boyle remodel the breakroom and Amy teaches Gina how to change her own car tire. Then, Jake and Rosa try to earn the respect of their idol, Lieutenant Melanie Hawkins (guest star Gina Gershon), while Charles, Terry and Gina test different parenting methods to resolve a conflict between Scully and Hitchcock.

Quote from Jake

Captain Holt: Enough! He robbed my mother.
Jake: No, he didn't. He's her lover. He's your mother lover. He's lovering your mother.


Quote from Amy

Amy: Huh? No, I wasn't listening to either of you. Look who's in Captain Holt's office.
Jake: Who that lady?
Amy: You are looking at the Second Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Laverne Holt.
Charles: Captain Holt's mom.
Jake: The creator.
Amy: Widowed at age 39, Laverne Kinnebrew Holt single-handedly raised two children and still managed to become one of the first black, female federal judges.
Jake: Wow, someone read her Wikipedia page.
Amy: No, Jake, I wrote it.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: You're annoying my mother.
Jake: Are you blind? We're vibing like crazy.
Captain Holt: I assure you, my mother's not a vibrator.
Jake: Definitely not what that's short for.

Quote from Jake

Jake: This is amazing. Spending time with your mother in your childhood home. Ah, the adorable baby pictures, the embarrassing stories. The Founding Fathers Underoos.
Captain Holt: There will be no Underoos.
Jake: You went commando?
Captain Holt: That's enough.

Quote from Jake

Jake: The alarm company said the break-in happened around 7:30. Most people are home at that time. Is there anyone who knew you'd be out?
Laverne Holt: The people who were with me at wine club. Oh my, I just remembered, Carol Spitzheim's house was broken into several months ago, also during wine club.
Captain Holt: Interesting. The odds of that happening coincidentally are vanishingly small.
Laverne Holt: I would say infinitesimally.
Jake: Yes, and I would say teenily-weenily. We all know words.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Final question. Is this little Raymond's macaroni art?
Laverne Holt: No, that's a macaroni infographic he made about educational spending during the Johnson administration.
Jake: Oh, of course it is. I love it.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: There's something so devious about taking advantage of wine lovers. But there won't be any wine where you're headed, George. Unless you make it in a toilet. Toilet wine. Let's bring him in, Peralta.

Quote from Scully

Hitchcock: You know what really chafes my crack? We spent years crafting that break room into something special, something comfortable.
Scully: A place with so many stains that the new ones just blended in.
Hitchcock: Where the couch cushions were so worn down, they comforted all butts, large or small, flat or juicy.
Charles: Juicy?
Rosa: Gross.
Scully: We built a masterpiece, and you amateurs flushed it down the toilet. Skir-plash.
Charles: Was that supposed to be a flushing sound?
Scully: Skir-plash.

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