Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘White Whale’ Quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: White Whale

521. White Whale

Aired May 13, 2018

Rosa and Amy team up to take down their "white whale" suspect - a ruthless killer who has managed to elude them for seven years - while Terry helps Jake tackle his wedding planning chores. Then, Captain Holt and his rival, Olivia Crawford, try to convince each other to step down in the campaign for Commissioner.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Where did I put them? Let's see. I had them in my left hand, and then I went to open the trunk, so I switched to my right hand. Oh, but then I had to sneeze, and I thought, "I don't want to sneeze on these keys." Dr. Seuss. Not really, but should be. "Do not sneeze on my keys. Do not wheeze on my keys. Do not sneeze on your knees on my keys, if you please."
Sergeant Jeffords: Jake, could you please move along on this thought journey?
Jake: Yeah, right, sorry. Okay, so then I put them on top of a plastic tub, which is locked inside the car. The keys are locked inside the car!
Sergeant Jeffords: Why?!

Rate

Quote from Gina

Gina: What are we looking for? Can you describe the envelope?
Captain Holt: It was a white number ten. It's the same kind you use to send fan mail to yourself.
Gina: I've never done that, but I do know what envelopes my fans use, so that's very helpful.

Quote from Amy

Amy: He's a ruthless killer who built a meth empire. We were tracking him for weeks, but he kept getting away.
Rosa: Finally, we cornered him in a warehouse. Every exit was covered and he just vanished. Then he sent us a postcard from Paraguay a year later just to taunt us. It was diabolical.
Amy: Yeah, it was full of grammar errors and other taunts that normal people care about.

Quote from Gina

Gina: Charles, shh.
Charles: I wasn't talking.
Gina: Shh!

Quote from Charles

Olivia Crawford: I'm sorry to barge in like this, but I have a source on the nominating committee. They're making their recommendation to the mayor at the end of next week, and it seems that John Kelly is going to beat out both of us.
Gina: Big shocker. The straight white man wins again.
Olivia Crawford: Exactly.
Captain Holt: Amen.
Charles: That was my complaint about Owen winning "Top Chef Junior," and you guys all acted like I was crazy.

Quote from Amy

[Reading the message left on the wall by Mindar: "Diaz and Santiago, your to late!"]
Rosa: Nope, he remembered.
Amy: And he used the wrong "you're" and the wrong "too"! Son of a bitch!

Quote from Jake

Sergeant Jeffords: Jake, you gotta pick a napkin.
Jake: The binder said they should be beige. I didn't realize there'd be 45 different shades. "Chanterelle," "desert whimsy," "filbert husk"? Words have no more meaning, Terry.

Quote from Charles

Charles: Well, Gina and I have been discussing the situation and we think we know what you need to do.
Captain Holt: Oh? What is that?
Gina: Whisper campaign.
Charles: It's the best way to bring down an enemy if you don't wanna get your hands dirty. How do you think I stole the cheese club presidency away from Bruce?
Gina: Whisper.
Charles: I heard he thought camembert was goat cheese.
Gina: And how do you think I got Janet and her horrible daughter Dakota to drop out of baby bongos class?
Charles: Whispers.
Gina: I heard Dakota has foot in mouth disease.
Charles: Sir, you have to give us permission to do this. Weaponize our sweet little mouths.
Gina: Ugh, how are we on the same side of this?

Quote from Gina

Captain Holt: This is not a strategy I'd normally entertain, however, challenging Olivia publicly is out of the question, so what do you have in mind?
Gina: Whispers.
Captain Holt: Yes, I know, but what specifically are the words that you would be whispering?
Charles: She lied on her resume.
Gina: She's a shoplifter.
Charles: She planted evidence.
Gina: She seduced a priest.
Charles: She pads her stats.
Gina: She's sort of stanky, I heard.
Captain Holt: No, no. I wanna be commissioner of the NYPD, but I want to achieve it honorably. There has to be another way.
Charles: There isn't.
Gina: Whispers.

Quote from Jake

Jake: All right, let's crush this list.
[phone call 1:] Calla lilies? Do you think I'm planning a funeral? I want dahlias.
[phone call 2:] No, no, no. Brown sprinkles at the ice cream bar? Do you think I'm planning a funeral? Give me rainbow!
[phone call 3:] Mini lamb shanks? Do you think I'm planning a funeral? Swap 'em out for some tiny tuna tacos.
[later:]
Sergeant Jeffords: Why do you keep saying the funeral thing?
Jake: Because my groom gut has a catchphrase. Doy.

Quote from Jake

Sergeant Jeffords: No, I'm not talking about that. All those decisions you made? You are way over budget.
Jake: Oh, no. My groom gut is a fancy bitch.

Quote from Scully

Sergeant Jeffords: We don't have time for that! We need help. We need to hire a team.
Jake: I know, but there's no money in the budget. Unless maybe we could find people that were willing to work for something other than money. Hey, Hitchcock and Scully! How would you two like to earn some candy almonds?
Scully: You got our attention.


 Episode 520 Episode 522 
  Select another episode