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‘Ticking Clocks’ Quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Ticking Clocks

614. Ticking Clocks

Aired April 25, 2019

In an episode that takes place in real time, Jake and the squad must track down a hacker who has infiltrated the Nine-Nine's servers. Rosa deals with relationship issues. Hitchcock and Scully attempt to cook the perfect lasagna.

Quote from Hitchcock

Hitchcock: We cooked that lasagna for nothing. Nothing!
Jake: Okay. But have you ever considered eating lasagna with no garlic bread?
Hitchcock: We've- Never done that before.
Scully: I guess maybe we could give it a try. What do you think, Hitchcock?
Hitchcock: What the hell. I had a feeling something crazy was gonna happen today.
Jake: There you go.
Scully: It's almost ready.
Jake: [microwave dings] Mama Magglione.

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Quote from Jake

Jake: Hey, there, Captain. Everything okay?
Captain Holt: No, I'm having a meltdown.
Rosa: Props. That was amazing.
Jake: Thanks. It was a lot of work.

Quote from Rosa

Jake: How is she running so fast in those shoes?
Rosa: She's too drunk to feel any pain.
Jake: Open up.
Jenna Pazhley: No.
Rosa: You are trapped in a very small room, and we can see you. What's your plan here?
Jenna Pazhley: Shut up, I'm trying to think. If you come in here, I'll bite you with this weird mouth thing.
Rosa: That is a staple remover, and it's shocking you don't know that.
Jenna Pazhley: Sorry, I'm not a secretary.

Quote from Captain Holt

Sergeant Jeffords: Captain, maybe it's time to face reality. We have to erase the servers.
Sergeant Knox: I'll initiate the sequence for you. It just needs your passcode.
Captain Holt: Perhaps you're right. How depressing. I never would've thought that typing an intricate sequence of numbers from memory would bring such sadness.

Quote from Captain Holt

Sergeant Knox: What's going on? We're running out of time here.
Captain Holt: Uh, sorry, it's uh from my husband, Kevin.
Sergeant Knox: Well, all due respect, but you don't have time for that. You've got 15 seconds before the hacker is inside the server.
Captain Holt: Uh, yes, uh it's just that Kevin just texted me some hot goss about our favorite reality TV star.
Sergeant Knox: 10 seconds. Your agents' lives are at stake. Eight, seven-
Captain Holt: Oh, I understand. I just have to find out about the hot goss.

Quote from Jake

Jake: "How certain are you? Sincerely, Raymond Holt." "100 percent, sincerely-" Why am I doing that part? Send. Okay, it said delivered.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Peralta, Santiago, you'll be happy to know that I did not erase the server.
Jake: Oh, thank God.
Captain Holt: But sad to know that Knox caught on and is now holding me at gunpoint.
Jake: Why not lead with that?

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: Whoa, what happened? You know what, forget it. I'll just read Amy's notes.

Quote from Rosa

Captain Holt: Wiping the servers is not an option. The only solution is to track down the hacker.
Rosa: How? It could be anywhere in the world Osaka, Berlin, Macau, Stockholm... Are you guys just gonna keep letting me list cities I've lived in?

Quote from Rosa

Jake: Rosa! We gotta go up to Holt's.
Rosa: Is this not done yet? Ugh. Jocelyn leaves in eight minutes, and I don't want things to end like this.
Jake: Wow. Way to be vulnerable. I thought for sure you'd write her off the second she said she wanted to break up.
Rosa: Yeah, I did. She's dead to me.
Jake: Wait? Then why are you so anxious to get back up and talk to her?
Rosa: Because I have a plan. I'm gonna beg her to stay, change whatever it is I need to change, then once our relationship is stronger than ever, I'm gonna dump her ass so quick. It's gonna be brutal.

Quote from Rosa

Jocelyn: Rosa, this is dumb. I'm just gonna go.
Rosa: No, no, no. You promised me more time. I still have seven minutes.
Jocelyn: I really don't want to miss my flight, and I cannot physically stand the way that room smells anymore.
Rosa: Just breathe through your mouth.

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: I don't have time for this. My girlfriend leaves in three minutes. You are ruining my life.
Jenna Pazhley: You're ruining my life. I missed my Drybar appointment without calling to cancel first. They keep record of those things.
Jake: Oh, my God, neither of your lives are being ruined. I told you I'm not on board with your psycho plan to destroy your girlfriend.
Rosa: I'm not gonna destroy her. I actually want her back. I really love her, Jake.
Jake: What? Rosa, then why'd you say all that stuff about winning the breakup?
Rosa: Because it's weak and humiliating to love someone. I lied to make myself feel strong and normal.
Jake: Right, that's definitely what came across, how normal you were being.

Quote from Rosa

Jocelyn: You don't even apologize blow me off. You just text "Double homicide TTYL".
Rosa: Sometimes I add those little heart emojis. You know how uncomfortable that is for me.


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