‘The Takeback’ Quotes
708. The Takeback
Aired March 19, 2020
Doug Judy is back and this time things between him and Jake are personal. Amy and Charles try to find the perfect new vending machine for the Nine-Nine.
Quote from Charles
Charles: So in the end, it's more than a vending machine. It's a vending experience.
Amy: A vending experience that serves fried octopus balls?
Charles: It also serves eel balls and clam balls and... It's really just the three kinds of balls.
Amy: Oh, okay. On that horrifying note, Scully and Hitchcock, it's your turn.
Quote from Jake
Jake: Okay, wait. I mean, obviously I love the premise and I think a reverse heist would make for a great movie and I already have the tag line, "This summer there are takebacks."
Doug Judy: Love that.
Jake: The poster would be you and me back-to-back with our arms crossed, but no, I'm not onboard with this. I'm a cop.
Doug Judy: And a cop's job is to prevent crime and that's what you'd be doing. Please, Jake. For me?
Jake: Okay, fine. 'Cause it's your bachelor party and only if I see them put back with my own eyes.
Doug Judy: Yes! Deal. Reverse heist, baby.
Jake: The Takeback. Coming this fall to HBO.
Doug Judy: It's a TV show now?
Jake: Well that's where all the best content is.
Quote from Captain Holt
Captain Holt: Hmm. It's a little less pink than I recall. But I suppose we exaggerate the beauty of those we love. It's good to have you back, old friend.
Quote from Jake
Doug Judy: [clears throat] Do you know who this is? This is Matt Daniel, the most popular male ASMR performer on Twitch.
Georgina: ASMR performer?
Doug Judy: Someone who speaks real soft.
Jake: [whispers] I also crinkle paper.
Doug Judy: We're trying to stream and the noise on the eighth floor is unacceptable.
Jake: [whispers] My fans can't hear my mouth sounds.
Georgina: I'm so sorry, I can't hear you.
Jake: [whispers] That's the point, Georgina.
Doug Judy: He says that's the point, Georgina. This is taking too long. Make a video. Tell your 25 million subscribers to never stay at this crap hotel.
Georgina: No, no, no. I'll take care of it. Let me talk to my general manager.
Jake: [whispers] You better run.
Doug Judy: Matt, don't yell. You'll strain your beautiful voice.
Quote from Charles
Charles: I shouldn't have pushed for the fish ball machine. I should've just played it safe and gone for the fish cake machine.
Amy: So you don't think the fish part was the problem?
Charles: I don't.