Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Trending Quotes

Quote from Adrian Pimento in the episode The Bank Job

Adrian Pimento: Okay, here are the ground rules: You can punch me, kick me, pull my hair, I am a-ok being stabbed, biting and scratching are on the table, you can use fire.
Jake: These are the ground rules? Is there anything off limits?
Adrian Pimento: Damn, man. You got something really sick you wanna do, huh? Oh, you little pervert. All right, I like it. Don't tell me. Surprise me. Ooh, this is gonna be fun.

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode The Favor

Captain Holt: I wish he would turn the radio down.
Jake: You think that's the radio? That sounds like professional music to you?
Captain Holt: All music after Mahler sounds exactly like that.

Quote from Jake in the episode The Slaughterhouse

Jake: Yeah, I really wish he'd show up. I gotta go to the bathroom so bad.
Rosa: That's, like, the third time today, man. What is going on with you?
Jake: Oh, Amy freaked out 'cause I told her I never drink water so now she's making me drink eight glasses a day. It's, like, there's water in soda, there's water in coffee, there's little pools of water on pizza.
Rosa: That's grease, Jake.
Jake: Well, it's wet, isn't it?

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Skyfire Cycle

Rosa: Come on, sir, the math thing isn't the problem. Night shift's keeping you and Kevin apart. You two just need to bone.
Amy: [chuckles nervously]
Captain Holt: What did you say?
Amy: Don't say it again.
Rosa: I said you two need to bone.
Amy: [whimpers]
Captain Holt: How dare you, Detective Diaz. I am your superior officer! [shouting, five minutes later] Bone! [sternly, ten minutes later] What happens in my bedroom, Detective, is none of your business. [shouting, twenty-one minutes later] Bone?! [calmly, forty minutes later] Don't ever speak to me like that again.

Popular Quotes

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Ding Dong

Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]

Quote from Rosa in the episode 9 Days

Rosa: I want to say a few words. When Jason died seven days ago, I didn't give a rat's ass.
Charles: This is your speech?
Rosa: 'Cause I didn't understand why people care so much about their dumb dogs till I got a dumb dog myself. I've only had Arlo for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.
Gina: Very violent eulogy, I like it.

Quote from Charles in the episode Operation Broken Feather

Sergeant Jeffords: So we have good news, and we have bad news.
Charles: My Nana always said, "Bad news first because the good news is probably a lie." Fun fact: she made me cry a lot.

Quote from Gina in the episode The Mole

Gina: It's Gina's phone. Leave me a voice-mail. I won't check it 'cause it's not 1993.

Quote Collections

  • Yippee-ki-yay, Die Hard Quotes Yippee-ki-yay, Die Hard Quotes

    A collection of quotes about Jake Peralta's favorite movie franchise, Die Hard.

  • Jake and Amy Quotes Jake and Amy Quotes

    Quotes from Jake and Amy's relationship including their first date, the first time they said "I love you", their engagement, wedding, and the birth of their child.

  • Wuntch Time: Captain Holt vs. Madeline Wuntch Wuntch Time: Captain Holt vs. Madeline Wuntch

    The best zingers from Captain Holt's feud with Madeline Wuntch.

  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine Catchphrases Brooklyn Nine-Nine Catchphrases

    A collection of quotes featuring Brooklyn Nine-Nine catchphrases like "Noice", "Smort", "Toit", "Nine Nine!", "Terry loves...", "Cool, cool, cool", "No doubt, no doubt", "Bingpot!", "Bone?!" and "Why?!"

  • Title of Your Sex Tape Title of Your Sex Tape

    "Title of Your Sex Tape" is a recurring joke from Jake, often used to poke fun at Amy's sex-life. Charles and Amy have also joined in on the act.

    "Oh, that's just something we say back at the Nine-Nine." - Charles Boyle

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