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‘The Slaughterhouse’ Quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Slaughterhouse

420. The Slaughterhouse

Aired May 16, 2017

Captain Holt's mom (guest star L. Scott Caldwell) seeks support from the precinct after her house is robbed. Meanwhile, Terry, Rosa and Boyle remodel the breakroom and Amy teaches Gina how to change her own car tire. Then, Jake and Rosa try to earn the respect of their idol, Lieutenant Melanie Hawkins (guest star Gina Gershon), while Charles, Terry and Gina test different parenting methods to resolve a conflict between Scully and Hitchcock.

Quote from Hitchcock

Hitchcock: Last night, Scully said he was sick, so I went by myself. Guess who was there, healthy as a clam? Mr. Liar and his new tart Cindy Shatz. What happened to our bro code? Badge before va-
Sergeant Jeffords: Hitchcock, no.


Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Santiago, I've been your CO for four years. By now, you should be able to stand up for yourself, even if that means telling me off.
Amy: You're right. Just say the word, and I will tell you off.
Captain Holt: Okay, tell me off about losing your pen.
Amy: Oh. Right now? Okay, well, it makes me feel pretty annoyed.
Captain Holt: Good. Go on.
Amy: It grates my cheese. I mean, it just really grates my cheese. Grr!
Captain Holt: Oh, Santiago, you're faking.
Amy: Faking? What? Uh, did you hear that "grr"?
Captain Holt: Just admit it.
Amy: Okay, fine, I was faking the whole time, but I only did it because I wanted you to enjoy it.
Captain Holt: That ruins it. I mean, it's supposed to be good for both of us.
Amy: It was good. Just because I didn't get angry doesn't mean I didn't get anything out of it.
Captain Holt: Yeah, but the whole point is for you to get angry. Did you even get close?
Amy: Uh-
Captain Holt: What about your last CO? Could he make you angry?
Amy: Well-
Captain Holt: You know what? I don't wanna know. Don't tell me. I don't wanna know.

Quote from Jake

Lieutenant Melanie Hawkins: You tank the operation, and you put one of my men out of commission. I am this close to suspending the both of you.
Jake: Almost looked like your fingers were actually touching.

Quote from Gina

Captain Holt: Gina, as you know, my fountain pen is being re-nibbed in Germany.
Gina: Yes, it's all no one is talking about.

Quote from Gina

Captain Holt: Due to its absence, I borrowed Amy's favorite pen, and I lost it.
Gina: That pen is her best friend. I'm not even saying that as an insult. I've heard her say it.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Sir, are you all right?
Captain Holt: I failed you, Santiago. I want my officers to respect the chain of command, but I never want anyone to be so terrified of me that they repress basic emotions. I'm a terrible captain.
Amy: Stop that. You are not a terrible captain.
Captain Holt: Santiago, face facts. I'm garbage.
Amy: No, this is about me and my issues with authority. You've been great.
Captain Holt: Wrong, I've been a disaster.
Amy: I can't believe you would blame yourself for this. How stupid are you?
Captain Holt: So stupid. I'm such a stupid head.
Amy: The fact that you think this has anything to do with you is insane. Do you even-[gasps] Oh, my God, I'm yelling at you.
Captain Holt: Yes, you are. You're in the zone. Keep going.
Amy: Oh, okay. I can't believe you lost my pen. That was careless and rude!
Captain Holt: And?
Amy: And it was a real jerk move!
Captain Holt: Santiago! You did it!
Amy: And I am so sick of you playing your damn classical music in your office all day. It's too loud! We can all hear it!
Captain Holt: Okay, well, this has been-
Amy: You shut your mouth when I'm talking to you.
Captain Holt: Santiago.
Amy: Right, too far. I'm sorry. This is all very new for me.

Quote from Gina

Gina: My God, you two are fools. [laughs] Your folly was in treating them as children.
Sergeant Jeffords: Of course, we should've been treating 'em like adults.
Gina: No, wrong again. They're not children. They're not adults. They're animals. Filthy, wild animals and they need to be treated accordingly.

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