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‘The Pontiac Bandit Returns’ Quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Pontiac Bandit Returns

210. The Pontiac Bandit Returns

Aired December 7, 2014

When Jake and Rosa catch the Pontiac Bandit, Doug Judy, who betrayed them on a previous case, he bargains for a plea deal by promising to turn in a top "Giggle Pig" supplier. Meanwhile, Gina and Boyle worry their parents are getting to close, while Amy ignores the Captain's wishes and makes him a unique Christmas gift.

Quote from Gina

Charles: Gina, you need to see this.
Gina: Oh, Charles. I can't take that. It's clearly not cash, and I don't have time in my life to return things.

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Quote from Amy

Amy: I'm making a scrapbook of his professional highlights. Newspaper clippings, police reports, pictures. It's got every moment of his career, "From Ray to Z".

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Amy: I asked the captain what qualified as a gift and he said anything I spend money on. Then I realized, my time is worth nothing.
Sergeant Jeffords: Sounds like you're bragging, but that's just a sad statement.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Not a gift, snitch. It didn't cost me anything. Just my worthless man hours.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Attention everybody, holidays of many cultures approach. This truly is a joyful time. Join me for a festive Winter party at Shaw's Bar this Friday, 7-9. Any questions
Scully: AM or PM?
Captain Holt: I'm gonna let you figure that one out.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Also, I'd like to reiterate my gift policy: none allowed. Enjoy this Merry Season.

Quote from Captain Holt

Amy: Nog! Nog! A little Christmas humor.
Captain Holt: Yes, the Nog from Egg-Nog used in place of knock.

Quote from Jake

Jake: I've already got my cover story worked out. My name is Dante Thunderstone. I stole my first car at the tender age of nine.
Doug Judy: You had to fend for yourself since your mother was struck by lightning.
Jake: While she was pregnant with me. She passed. I lived.
Some say that makes Zeus my dad.
Oh! Mythic.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Oh yeah, the one without the daddy is the one with daddy issues? Explain that logic.

Quote from Jake

Jake: I'll have one Lobster Thermidor, extra thermidor on the side. I have no idea what I'm ordering.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Amy: I've got to tell the captain. Do you think he'll be upset?
Sergeant Jeffords: Probably not. I mean he seems like the kind of laid back guy who delights in having his mistakes exposed. Maybe next year you can do a collage about low points in his marriage.


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