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‘The Fugitive (Part 1)’ Quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Fugitive (Part 1)

411. The Fugitive (Part 1)

Aired January 1, 2017

A mass escape of convicts from a prison van in the streets of Brooklyn sends the entire squad on a manhunt. The only key witness? Former NFL running back Marshawn Lynch (guest-starring as himself). Meanwhile, Jake and Amy place a bet on who can bring in the most escaped convicts - and the loser has to move into the winner's apartment. Then, with only one fugitive still on the loose, Jake enlists a surprising ally.

Quote from Jake

Sergeant Jeffords: Jake, look. You think it's our guys?
Jake: Maybe. But this is New York, so there's a very strong chance it's just "city blood."


Quote from Charles

Amy: So, I know you're Jake's best friend, and-
Charles: Did he say that? Did you get that on tape?
Amy: No.
Charles: No, he didn't say that or no, you didn't get it on tape? Doesn't matter. Either way, you screwed up big time.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Jake: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the precinct escaped convict number one! Terry, where's the music? That was the cue.
Sergeant Jeffords: I didn't have that Queen song on my phone. I wasn't gonna pay $1.99 for it.

Quote from Jake

Captain Holt: Nice work, men. You can put your perp in holding with the other three convicts.
Jake: Wait. Other three?
Captain Holt: Yeah. Santiago and Boyle brought them in.
Amy: That's right. It's three to one. Guess you won't be needing this anymore since you'll be moving in with me.
Jake: My towel.
Amy: Yeah, your towel. [tries to ignite it with a lighter] Why won't it burn?
Jake: Because it never fully dries. The towel lives, and so do we!

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Now, we just have to figure out what language she's speaking so we can find a translator. Here, ma'am. Take a look at this map of the world.
Rosa: You just keep one of those on you?
Captain Holt: Of course. In case I ever need to prove my point in an argument.
[cut to Captain Holt arguing with a man on the street:]
Captain Holt: Laos.
Man: Fine!
Captain Holt: Oh, it was better than fine. It was Laos.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: So, where are you from?
Rosa: Where did you grow up?
Captain Holt: (SPEAKING SLOWLY) Where were you born?
Rosa: What are you miming there, sir?
Captain Holt: A child tying his tie. Uh-huh. I'm trying to do a simple Half Windsor so she knows I'm a baby. Look at this. See how basic this knot is?

Quote from Charles

Amy: I love these thermal goggles.
Charles: Amy, listen to me very carefully. If you and Jake are thinking of trying, you are ovulating like crazy right now.
Amy: You take that helmet off before I knock it off.
Charles: What? Your basal temperature is off the charts. This is a good thing.

Quote from Jake

Amy: Got him.
Charles: Oh, well, you know, I think that makes it four to four.
Jake: No. No. You don't get credit for this guy. I was in the middle of negotiating, and he was about to give up. Tell him, guy.
Guy: No, I was probably gonna kill him, then let you kill me.
Jake: Oh, my God. I should've been way more scared.

Quote from Jake

Jake: I can't believe Leonardo lived in this. I mean, Michelangelo I get. He's kind of a sloppy dude. But Leo is so fastidious.
Sergeant Jeffords: Jake, shut up.
Jake: Sarge, we're in a sewer. I'm goin'st to talk about the Turtles.

Quote from Jake

Amy: Hey. I don't get it. Why did you decide to let me win?
Jake: I don't know. When we were back there racing through the Miranda Rights, I just looked over at you and thought, "You're awesome. And you're good at doing things." I mean, sure, I'll miss towel, but your happiness is worth way more than winning some stupid bet.
Amy: Are you sure about this?
Jake: Oh, yeah. Your apartment is better than mine in every way imaginable. You want to know what my first thought was when we dropped into the sewer? "Smells like home."
Sergeant Jeffords: He's lying, Amy. His first thought was about the Ninja Turtles.
Amy: Come on, Terry. We were in a sewer. He's gon'sta think about the Turtles.
Jake: Yeah, I'm gon'sta, Terry. Quit being such a Malfoy.
Amy: Yeah, Terry.

Quote from Scully

Captain Holt: What are you trying to tell us? Is this some kind of a clue?
Rosa: Draw better. We have no idea what this is.
Scully: I think it's a cookie.
Hitchcock: No. It's a pizza.
Both: (GASP) It's a cookie pizza!
Scully: Another case solved.

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