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‘The Chopper’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Chopper

222. The Chopper

Aired May 10, 2015

When Madeline Wuntch gives Jake all the resources he needs to tackle a high-profile case, Holt is suspicious that she's setting the precinct up for failure. Meanwhile, Terry hosts a field trip for a local magnet school in the hopes of impressing the school administrator, with Amy, Rosa and Gina's help.

Quote from Captain Holt

Madeline Wuntch: Hello, Raymond. How do you like my new office? Twentieth floor.
Captain Holt: Yes, I never thought I'd see you this high without a broom under you.

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Quote from Charles

Jake: Okay, just so we're clear, from this point forward, my call sign will be Death Blade.
Charles: And I'll be Rum-tum-tugger.
Jake: No, Boyle, no characters from Cats. Dig deep. Think of something scary.
Charles: Adolf Hitler.
Jake: No! You will be Sidewinder.
Charles: All right, but I'm more scared of Hitler.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Captain, quick update. Another one of the Fulton Street Four was murdered here this morning.
Captain Holt: Huh. I'm surprised you're not celebrating inappropriately.
Jake: This is a crime scene and I'm a professional.
Captain Holt: You did it before I showed up?
Jake: Yep, that is exactly correct.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Bing-pot!

Quote from Captain Holt

Jake: That's not what I meant. No, we have to fight her.
Captain Holt: We're not going to fight her. She's the devil. And you don't dance with the devil because you get burned. Also, because in Madeline's case she has no rhythm, and her hands are like little rat claws.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Hello, friends. Who here would like to see a presentation of crime statistics as a function of demographics and time? Who wants to see a picture of a dead body?

Quote from Hitchcock

Sergeant Jeffords: We've got to make this place kid-friendly. No crime scene photos lying about.
Hitchcock: That's not a crime scene. That's a boudouir photo I'm having framed for my wife. That's me underneath the mask.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: My girls are on the waitlist for their preschool, and it's twice as tough to get in with twins.
Rosa: Why don't you just get one of them in, and let them take turns going to school every other day?
Sergeant Jeffords: Diaz, that's crazy. I asked my wife and she said no.

Quote from Amy

Amy: I wish I could go back to middle school knowing what I know now. I'd be so cool. And I'd get to retake all the tests, and update some book reports.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Sir, with all due respect, this is an epic case. It's the reason I became a cop. Hunting down a murderer, recovering millions in stolen money, rappelling out of a chopper with a knife between my teeth.
Captain Holt: Why would you jump out of a helicopter with a knife in your mouth?
Jake: It's called a chopper. And the knife is in my mouth because both of my hands are holding giant machine guns. And that's how it's going down.

Quote from Jake

Jake: For the record, you're turning this murder scene into a real bummer-scape.

Quote from Charles

Jake: Oh man, look at the captain. He's pacing slowly. For him that's like a full on rage-fuelled freak out.
Charles: The only thing worse is when he stands perfectly still.
Oh no, he's standing perfectly still.

Quote from Charles

Jake: Did you know that my dream has always been to have my picture taken with a mountain of recovered cash?
Charles: And it's always been my dream to take that picture of you, Jake.

Quote from Amy

Amy: I'm in! A bet which improves someone's manners? Double score.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: Here's my desk. You can tell by the framed two-hundred piece puzzle my three-year-olds put together on their own.
School Administrator: That's very advanced, Sergeant Jeffords.
Sergeant Jeffords: Is it? I wouldn't know what milestones are impressive to a school's admissions officer. They can count to twenty in English and Mandarin.

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