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‘Thanksgiving’ Quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Thanksgiving

110. Thanksgiving

Aired November 26, 2013

Amy invites the whole precinct over for Thanksgiving dinner at her apartment, but her plans go awry when Jake leaves with the Captain to catch a suspect.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Excuse me. Uh, so earlier at Amy's, I didn't give a real toast because I didn't know what to say. But since that time, a wise unsmiling man named Jerald Jimes made me realize what I am thankful for. So, I'd just like to say I am happy to be here with my family. My super weird family with two black dads, and two Latina daughters, and two white sons, and ... Gina. And I don't know what you (Scully) are. Some strange giant baby? To the Nine-Nine!

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Quote from Hitchcock

Amy: Hitchcock, why do you have your shirt off?
Hitchcock: Can't spill food on your shirt if you're not wearing one.

Quote from Rosa

Amy: Rosa is even wearing her formal leather jacket.
Rosa: It's the one without any blood on it.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: Urgh, what's in these?
Amy: Potatoes, butter, a little milk. Oh, and I ran out of salt, so I used baking soda.
Sergeant Jeffords: Why wouldn't you? They're both white powders. Of course they're interchangeable.
Amy: Yeah.

Quote from Gina

Gina: Wait, are you only hosting dinner because you want to suck up to Holt? Not cool. This was supposed to be about friendship.
Amy: You said the only reason you were coming was to see whether my apartment was the reason I'm single or it was my personality, like you suspected.
Gina: Yeah, but that was before I knew I could get up on this high horse.

Quote from Gina

Gina: Oh, my God, Amy, that's so cool that you still live with your Grandmother.
Amy: I live alone. This is my stuff. I like quilts.
Gina: Stop. Each sentence is getting sadder.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: My wife was murdered by a man in a yellow sweater!
It's the one case I can't solve.
Don't fight with family.
It can all go away so quickly.
Sign this?

Quote from Gina

Gina: Rough night?
Amy: Yeah, it certainly hasn't gone according to plan.
Gina: Oh, no. Oh, Amy, I was ordering a drink called a "Rough Night." It's tequila with a nicotine patch.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: Everything's spoiled. My lunch is ruined. My chicken, my potatoes, pasta, my meatballs, ham, my yogurt.
Charles: Wow, that's a lot of yogurt.
Sergeant Jeffords: I love yogurt.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: Release your sweets!

Quote from Amy

Amy: Captain, I want to tell you something. I think you're... Like, when I was a little girl.
Captain Holt: You think I'm like when you were a little girl?
Amy: Forget it. The moment's passed.

Quote from Gina

Gina: (To Amy) Did you make the cover of "Hair Pulled Back" magazine?

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: Okay. Excuse me. Can we please eat? My body is starting to digest itself. Terry needs nutrients!

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Charles: So this is your lunch for, like, the month?
Sergeant Jeffords: I need to eat 10,000 calories a day to maintain muscle mass. My wife made me all of this before she left town with the kids. That was everything in my fridge.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: Scully.
Scully: Heya, sarge.
Sergeant Jeffords: I know you gotten a secret stash of food hidden somewhere.
Scully: Oh no.
Sergeant Jeffords: Where is it?
Scully: Oh, I don't.
Sergeant Jeffords: Is it in your pockets?
Scully: No, come on.
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm gonna shake it out of your pockets.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Can I help you, Santiago?
Amy: Oh, captain. I didn't expect to see you there.
Captain Holt: In my office?

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Yes, I received your "Save the Date" decorative gourd. Your ornamental cornucopia. And this beautiful hand-crafted card of a turkey wearing a tophat.
Amy: It's a pilgrim's hat.
Captain Holt: Where's the buckle, Santiago?


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