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‘Serve & Protect’ Quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Serve & Protect

414. Serve & Protect

Aired April 18, 2017

Terry's ex replaces Teddy in evaluating the precinct, but Jake and Rosa are distracted by a burglary case that occurred on the set of one of their favorite detective TV shows. As the rest of the Nine-Nine concentrate on the audit (and Terry's past relationship strategies), Jake and Rosa pass time with the series star and producer, who meddle in the case and charm Jake with the glamor of show business.

Quote from Jake

Rosa: Hey, man. We gotta be cool, all right? I know you have some fantasy about being a movie star.
Jake: I don't fantasize about being a movie star. I fantasize about meeting one. And being invited to a party at George Clooney's villa, where he pranks me and then we prank Matt Damon together and then Damon's like "Peralta, you got the goods. You're gonna be the star of my next movie." Wait, maybe I do want to be a movie star.


Quote from Charles

Charles: My point is, I'm worried that Veronica will never forgive Terry. Is there anyone above her that you can appeal to?
Captain Holt: She reports to Deputy Commissioner Grayson. I've already tried to set up a meeting with him. He's on vacation with his family in the Poconos.
Charles: Okay, so maybe we find out where he's staying and just happen to run into him and accidentally strike up a little convo about the Nine-Nine.
Captain Holt: That seems rather underhanded.
Charles: Desperate times call for Desperate Housewives.
Captain Holt: What?
Charles: Measures. I said measures.

Quote from Jake

Rosa: Listen to yourself. You're letting all of this cloud your judgment.
Jake: I love clouds; they keep the sun away on hot days.
Rosa: He doesn't want us to solve this crime, so he's buying us off. It's shady.
Jake: I love the shade; it keeps the sun away on hot days.

Quote from Charles

Captain Holt: Why did you stop me? I was making progress.
Charles: I know, sir. But I have to say something. I love the Nine-Nine. And the main reason why is you.
Captain Holt: Not Jake?
Charles: Yes, clearly, it's mostly Jake. But it's also you and the standard that you've set for us with your unwavering morals. I'd rather we split up than stay together and compromise who we are.
Captain Holt: Well, thank you, Boyle. You're right. No matter what happens, we'll feel better knowing we didn't resort to blackmail.
Charles: I agree. From now on, the only black male I want anything to do with is you.
Captain Holt: That was incredibly inappropriate.
Charles: I know, but I had thought of it and I was so proud, I just had to say it out loud.
Captain Holt: Let's just go.
Charles: Great.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: So Grayson's a philanderer. What's that gotta do with the price of onions?

Quote from Gina

Gina: We've been going for a while you feeling hungry?
Sergeant Jeffords: Starving, thanks. [Gina throws the yogurt against the wall] Oh, come on!
Gina: You get a yogurt when I get the truth.
Amy: Oh God, it's in the grout. It's gonna smell in here forever.

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