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10Quotes from ‘Safe House’

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Safe House

512. Safe House

Aired March 18, 2018

After Seamus (guest star Paul Adelstein) threatens Kevin (guest star Marc Evan Jackson), Holt devises an elaborate plan to hide him in a safe house, with Jake as his guard. Kevin is miserable as the 99 works overtime to find Seamus and take him down.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Hello, Kevin. It's me, Raymond Holt. We need to get you to safety. Your life is in danger.

Quote from Charles

Charles: Okay, first of all, Rosa, you look amazing. Secondly, I made an appointment at the salon with Nikki, for you, under the name Gabriella Fuentes de San Miguel Estrada. I had fun with the name.
Rosa: Clearly.

Quote from Jake

Jake: What is the bandwidth on the wifi here? We have much content to stream.

Quote from Gina

Rosa: Yeah, we all have huge problems.
Gina: You kinda look like Phil Spector when he was on trial.

Quote from Jake

Seamus Murphy: So, Peralta, what do you have to say for yourself?
Jake: The whole NYPD knows where you are, and they're coming for you right now.
Seamus Murphy: Okay, thanks for the tip. Let's kill them both, get out of here before the cops come.
Jake: Wait, no, no, no, I was lying about the back-up. I came alone - title of my sex tape.

Quote from Jake

Sergeant Jeffords: Okay, so we've secured Captain Holt's husband. Let's discuss how to proceed.
Jake: So what you're saying is, we need to talk about Kevin. *Everybody boos* I have no regrets!

Quote from Gina

Rosa: Okay, Nikki won't talk to cops. So we've got to send someone in as a customer. Get her to open up, start gossiping.
Gina: Send me. I'm a gossip surgeon. I can get anything out of anyone.
Sergeant Jeffords: You can't go undercover, you're not a cop.
Gina: How am I not a cop, Terry? 'Cause I don't have a badge? Being a cop is a state of mind.
Sergeant Jeffords: It's definitely not.

Quote from Jake

Kevin: This installation is composed of Constantine's accounts of the first Punic War in the year 264-
Jake: Ah, yes the first pubic war, the sexiest of all wars. Hi, Dr. Albrin Einstibe. I have an urgent question for you about Ancient Greece.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: He bled out in your lap. How will you break the news to me? Let's see.
Jake: We don't have to do this.
Captain Holt: Ah, Detective Peralta, how are things going with Kevin, the love of my life? Wait, why are you here at this late hour? And whose blood is that?
Jake: Okay, I get it.
Captain Holt: It's Kevin's? This is devastating. I'm inconsolable. And I've killed myself.
Jake: Cool, well, I can see this is gonna be a fun couple of months.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: According to Organized Crime, Murphy has gone to ground, and there are no leads.
Jake: Oh, that's great. If he's on the run, he probably won't be worrying about Kevin.
Captain Holt: And if you coat yourself in chum and swim with sharks, you probably won't be eaten. Said the half-eaten chum-covered swimmer.


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