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‘Return of the King’ Quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Return of the King

615. Return of the King

Aired May 2, 2019

When Gina returns to the Nine-Nine, Jake and Terry get drawn into her life. Holt learns that Charles's son, Nikolaj, may be a genius. Rosa copes with an injury.

Quote from Gina

Gina: Timothée Chalamet, shimmy-yah, shimmy-yay. Timothée Chalamet, shimmy-yah, shimmy-yay.
Jake: Gina?
Gina: Sorry, I'm doing my vocal warm-up.


Quote from Captain Holt

Charles: Wanted to see me, sir?
Captain Holt: Yes, I wanted to talk to you about Nikolaj. How long have you known he was a genius?
Charles: I mean, I always knew he was bright. I just never realized he was that smart.
Captain Holt: Well, there's no sugarcoating it. You're a terrible father.
Charles: What?!
Captain Holt: You've been asleep at the wheel, man! What have you done to cultivate his incredible mind?
Charles: I read to him every night.
Captain Holt: Shakespeare? Tolstoy?
Charles: No, nothing that advanced.
Captain Holt: Egads, are you reading him Dickens?
Charles: Yes?

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Boyle! My father never saw my potential. In grade school, I wanted to spend all my free time drawing graphs and charts, but he insisted I play basketball. As if I care about slam dunking a three-pointer. Don't be my father, Boyle!
Charles: I wouldn't dare!

Quote from Captain Holt

Charles: What do you think I should do?
Captain Holt: Let me tutor Nikolaj. Nothing too strenuous. Maybe some geometry, statistical mechanics, perhaps some Latin lyric poetry thrown in for fun.
Charles: Oh, I don't know. He's really booked.I guess I could cancel his cartooning class, but he really loves it.
Captain Holt: Don't do that. I hate to think of all the great cartoons humanity missed out on because Einstein was just too busy reinventing physics.
Charles: Okay, I'll cancel the class.
Captain Holt: I mean, who needs relativity when we could've had Einstein's take on lasagna-eating cats.
Charles: I said I'd cancel.
Captain Holt: Did he hate Mondays? We'll never know.
Charles: Okay, I'm going. I'm going!

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Ah, Boyle, there you are. I have a question for you.
Nikolaj: Daddy, wait up!
Captain Holt: Oh, your non-adult is at our place of work.

Quote from Captain Holt

Charles: Nikolaj had a half-day at school for Mariano Rivera's birthday. I'm watching him on my lunch break. Nikolaj, say "hi" to Captain Holt.
Nikolaj: Hi, Captain Holt! How's Mr. Kevin?
Captain Holt: Stressed. His annual budget review is today, and a recent change in federal policy means his grant situation is tenuous. At best.
Nikolaj: Okay.

Quote from Rosa

Amy: Whoa, Rosa! What happened?
Rosa: I touched poison oak. The doctor says I have to keep my hands bandaged for a week so I don't scratch them.
Amy: How did it happen?
Rosa: I was on a nature hike and I went off-trail to pick a pretty little flower.
Amy, Hitchcock & Scully: Aw.
Rosa: Shut up.

Quote from Jake

Sergeant Jeffords: Why are you sliding into my side of the booth?
Jake: Because that side is the solo side. You always put the person you want to catch up with on the solo side, otherwise one of us will spend the whole night straining our necks looking sideways.
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm straining my neck talking to you right now.
Jake: Okay, so don't look at me, Terry. Just face forward. You see me every day.
Sergeant Jeffords: Fine.
Jake: Fine.

Quote from Jake

Jake: I did, and there's been a change of plans. I'm gonna take a rain check on the champagne, but it was wonderful seeing you.
Gina: Why are you talking like a flight attendant?
Jake: This is how I always talk when everything is okay. Which it is right now. Please enjoy the rest of your day.

Quote from Charles

Charles: How did Nikolaj do? Were you able to overcome my horrible parenting?
Captain Holt: No, it's far worse than I could've ever imagined. I showed him a periodic table, and he thought it was a coloring book illustration.
Charles: I blame myself. It's such a classic Boyle trait not to recognize talent. My cousin Susan didn't know she could sing until her late 40s.

Quote from Rosa

Amy: Rosa? Are you stuck in there?
Rosa: No, I'm in here by choice.
Amy: Oh, 'cause I hear some banging noises as if someone was struggling to open the door.
Rosa: No. That was the pipes.
Amy: Or, is it the sound of you learning how to ask for help? You know, you can't spell "independent" without "dependent."
Rosa: And you can't spell "Go [bleep] yourself" without "[bleep] you."

Quote from Scully

Rosa: Ugh, why won't this dumb monitor turn on?
Scully: Because you can't work without your hands.
Hitchcock: Trust us. If you could do this job without lifting a finger, we would've already cracked it.
Scully: Because we're lazy boys.

Quote from Rosa

Amy: Rosa, watching you try to open that door and fail again and again and again and again was inspiring. I was trying to teach you a lesson, and instead, you taught me a lesson.
Rosa: Great. What lesson is that?
Amy: There is nothing the human spirit cannot overcome. So Rosa Diaz, you are not quitting. You are gonna open that door because you are badass and you don't need help from anyone!
Rosa: Yeah. I'm Rosa Diaz.

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