Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Captain Holt Quote #404
Rosa: Thank you for the invite, but I'm not really having people meet Jocelyn yet. I'm still feeling things out with her.
Captain Holt: But Boyle says you brought Jocelyn to Shaw's last week.
Rosa: That was unplanned.
Captain Holt: Sure, but now that the squad has all met her, surely you can't object to her having some rice with Kevin and me?
Rosa: Okay, it's just that you can be a bit judgmental.
Captain Holt: What a stupid thing to say. Name one time when I have been judgmental.
Captain Holt: What a stupid thing to say.
Captain Holt: Oh, I see. Mere seconds ago.
Quote from Jake
Jake: Behold, Brooklyn buddies, Boyle bullpen bottle bowling.
Jake: Be brave, bro. Be brave. Bowl!
Elderly Eastern European Woman: Babushka!
Quote from Jake
Sergeant Jeffords: Wait, have you never been to therapy?
Jake: No. Don't need it.
Sergeant Jeffords: Not even after the time your wife shot you?
Sergeant Jeffords: What about when you were held at gunpoint and had to write your own suicide note?
Jake: Oh, that was crazy. I forgot about that.
Sergeant Jeffords: Or when you were falsely accused of bank robbery and went to prison?
Jake: Was that a big deal?
Sergeant Jeffords: You joined a gang and tried meth!
Jake: Well, I didn't want to be anyone's bitch.
Quote from Charles
Charles: Listen, I'm sorry. I guess you were right about the therapist.
Jake: Yeah, well, that's nice of you to say, Charles, but actually, when I was stalling Dr. Tate, I started talking about my parents' divorce, and it felt really good. I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think I'm gonna make an appointment with a shrink.
Charles: Jake, that is so great. And I know a guy who's really good. You will love having him inside of you.
Charles: What? Oh, come on, mister. Grow up. Get your mind out of the gutter, ya perv!
Quote from The Mole
Captain Holt: Nothing's okay. Wuntch, circling me like a shark frenzied by chum. The task force turning into a career-threatening quagmire. An Internal Affairs investigation casting doubt upon my integrity. And you ask, is everything okay? I am buffeted by the winds of my foe's enmity and cast about by the towering waves of cruel fate. Yet I, a Captain, am no longer able to command my vessel, my precinct, from my customary helm, my office. And you ask, is everything okay? I've worked the better part of my years on earth overcoming every prejudice and fighting for the position I hold, and now I feel it being ripped from my grasp, and with it the very essence of what defines me as a man. And you ask, is everything okay?
Quote from The Cruise
Debbie: Look at you. Always working. What happened to my fun big brother?
Captain Holt: Fun? I was never fun. You take that back.
Quote from The Wednesday Incident
Captain Holt: Coat, coat, jacket, coat. Is this a police precinct or a Turkish bazaar?