Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Jake Quote #436
Amy: What? You're quitting?
Captain Holt: Yes, I am.
Amy: No, you're not. We're keeping you right here.
Captain Holt: How are you going to do that? Physically restrain me?
Amy: Great idea. Is there anything in Charles's box of nightmares that could be used to tie up Holt?
Jake: Yes. Literally everything in here could be used to tie up a person.
Quote from Jake
Amy: He's leaving. Our plan worked.
Jake: We saved our own honeymoon, and fun bonus, we cheered up Holt.
Amy: Yes. Okay, it's time to celebrate. You know what that means. This B needs a C in her A.
Jake: Oh, my God.
Amy: This babe needs a coconut in her arms.
Jake: Oh, I thought you were saying this [bleep] needs a [bleep] in her [bleep].
Amy: Oh, my God.
Jake: Yeah, that was my reaction.
Quote from Captain Holt
Captain Holt: I tried to suck it up and go back to work. I put on my uniform and got in my car. And next thing I knew, I was on a plane to Mexico. I didn't even pack a bag. I bought a bundle of novelty shirts at a nearby gift shop.
This one says, "What's up, beaches?" Instead of "bitches" for humor reasons.
Amy: But you hate humor.
Captain Holt: Well, I'm a joke now, so it suits me.
Quote from Amy
Captain Holt: What the hell is going on?
Jake: I can't let you quit.
Captain Holt: Yes, but why the candles and rose petals?
Amy: Is that Mr. McClane I hear? 'Cause someone's about to Die Har- Oh, my God.
Why is Captain Holt here?
Jake: Because he's gonna- Wait, are you dressed like Bonnie Bedelia in "Die Hard?"
Amy: I am.
Jake: For sexy reasons?
Jake: Oh, boy.
Quote from The Party
Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.
Quote from AC/DC
Jake: I also have a hairline fracture in my thumb. Mankind's least important finger, am I right?
Quote from Operation Broken Feather
Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.