Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Charles Quote #154
Jake: They fell for it.
Charles: Hook, line, and sphincter.
Jake: It's sinker.
Charles: No, it's sphincter. That's where you put the hook in when you're eeling.
Jake: Well, I'll never use that expression again.
Quote from Jake
Jake: Okay, here it goes. Ames, I love you. I love how smart you are. I love how beautiful you are. I love your face, and I love your butt. I should've written this down first.
Amy: No, no, it's okay. Go on.
Jake: I love how much you pretend to like "Die Hard."
Amy: I like the second one.
Jake: You don't have to.
Jake: Yeah. You're kind, and you're funny, and you're the best person I know, and the best detective. Also, for reals, I love your butt.
Amy: I love yours too.
Jake: Gross. Amy Santiago will you marry me?
Amy: Jake Peralta, I will marry you.
Quote from Captain Holt
Captain Holt: Wait a minute this isn't the championship cummerbund. This is some common cummerbund. And you're not Cheddar. You're just some common bitch.
Quote from Jake
Jake: Halloween. Mua-ha-ha-ha. It's heist time. Argh!
Amy: Thought you could get a head start on heist prep? Good luck. I'm already dressed.
Jake: Well, I'm also dressed, and I made breakfast. Wait, where are my eggs?
Captain Holt: In my belly. [BOTH SCREAM] Now get a move on, it's heist time.
Jake: I love Halloween!
Quote from Into the Woods
Charles: Is the equipment secure?
Charles: Weapon loaded?
Charles: Did you have breakfast?
Jake: What? That's not on the checklist.
Charles: I added it because I care about you.
Jake: No, I did not have breakfast.
Charles: Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.
Jake: Hey, there's little chocolate chips in this.
Charles: Yeah, I'm not an idiot. I know how to trick my best friend into eating his fiber.
Quote from USPIS
Jake: Boyle, why don't you show Danger what a fax machine is.
Charles: Okay. Imagine a letter had unprotected sex with a phone.
Quote from Lockdown
Charles: Okay, but I thought since you were in charge, maybe I could be your right hand man? Your Tinker Bell?
Rosa: Tinker Bell?
Charles: Let me tell you something about Tinker Bell. Tinker Bell is a loyal lieutenant and a real thorn in the side of Captain Hook.