Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Jake Quote #349
Jake: This is amazing. Spending time with your mother in your childhood home. Ah, the adorable baby pictures, the embarrassing stories. The Founding Fathers Underoos.
Captain Holt: There will be no Underoos.
Jake: You went commando?
Captain Holt: That's enough.
Quote from Jake
Captain Holt: Enough! He robbed my mother.
Jake: No, he didn't. He's her lover. He's your mother lover. He's lovering your mother.
Quote from Amy
Amy: Huh? No, I wasn't listening to either of you. Look who's in Captain Holt's office.
Jake: Who that lady?
Amy: You are looking at the Second Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Laverne Holt.
Charles: Captain Holt's mom.
Jake: The creator.
Amy: Widowed at age 39, Laverne Kinnebrew Holt single-handedly raised two children and still managed to become one of the first black, female federal judges.
Jake: Wow, someone read her Wikipedia page.
Amy: No, Jake, I wrote it.
Quote from Captain Holt
Captain Holt: You're annoying my mother.
Jake: Are you blind? We're vibing like crazy.
Captain Holt: I assure you, my mother's not a vibrator.
Jake: Definitely not what that's short for.
Quote from The Party
Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.
Quote from AC/DC
Jake: I also have a hairline fracture in my thumb. Mankind's least important finger, am I right?
Quote from Operation Broken Feather
Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.