Captain Holt Quote #218

Quote from Captain Holt in Coral Palms Pt. 1

Captain Holt: If that woman posts her camera phone video that she took with a camera phone camera to the Internet, Figgis could figure out where we are.

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‘Coral Palms Pt. 1’ Quotes

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: We're not cops anymore. How are we gonna get access to those files?
Jake: Easy: I walk in there dressed as an exterminator saying I'm from 1-2-3 Pest Removal. Secretary's like, "Never heard of you." Then I'm like, [Scottish accent:] "Listen, lassie, it's best you let me speak with your principal." I hear it. I'm gonna drop the accent. She takes me to see the principal you walk in behind me and download the file.
Captain Holt: The only question is, where are we gonna find an exterminator's outfit?
Jake: We're gonna need khaki pants and a khaki shirt.
Captain Holt: To my casual wear closet.

Quote from Captain Holt

Hestus: But you guys getting ink, or what?
Captain Holt: No, I already have a tattoo.
Jake: What? Where? Why? How? When?
Captain Holt: I will never talk about it again.
[Jake groans]

Quote from Captain Holt

Jordan Carfton: I'm uploading the video tomorrow at my cousin's wedding. Dog track has free Wi-Fi.
Jake: Would you ever consider not uploading it and deleting it instead? If our boss sees that video, we could be fired.
Jordan Carfton: I don't care about you. A great viral video like that could fetch me ten grand. And do you know what type of tanning bed I could get for that kind of money? A mid-range one.
Captain Holt: Not necessary. Your tan is great as-is. You look like an evenly-stained deck.

Captain Holt Quotes

Quote from The Mole

Captain Holt: Nothing's okay. Wuntch, circling me like a shark frenzied by chum. The task force turning into a career-threatening quagmire. An Internal Affairs investigation casting doubt upon my integrity. And you ask, is everything okay? I am buffeted by the winds of my foe's enmity and cast about by the towering waves of cruel fate. Yet I, a Captain, am no longer able to command my vessel, my precinct, from my customary helm, my office. And you ask, is everything okay? I've worked the better part of my years on earth overcoming every prejudice and fighting for the position I hold, and now I feel it being ripped from my grasp, and with it the very essence of what defines me as a man. And you ask, is everything okay?

Quote from Tactical Village

Jake: It's the most fun day of the year. Something you wouldn't understand because you're not programmed to feel joy.
Captain Holt: Yes, but my software is due for an exuberance upgrade.

Quote from The Wednesday Incident

Captain Holt: Coat, coat, jacket, coat. Is this a police precinct or a Turkish bazaar?