Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Jake Quote #281
Jake: Bonjour, Captain. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?
Captain Holt: No, I don't want to sleep with you.
Jake: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.
Quote from Charles
Charles: Okay, the key with dogs is establishing the alpha. Cheddah, dwop it. Pwease dwop it. I'll give you anything you want.
Jake: Oh, Cheddar is the alpha. Didn't expect that.
Quote from Amy
Jake: All right, Rosa gets a motorcycle.
Amy: Oh, cool. I want a fast sports car.
Jake: Come on. You can be honest.
Amy: I want old, expensive books. I'll send you a list.
Jake: There you go.
Quote from Jake
Captain Holt: No, my decision is final. I'm postponing my flight. Good-bye, Jacob.
Jake: No, sir! Please, please - [call disconnects] Ahh! He said Jacob. It's biblical.
Quote from Operation Broken Feather
Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.
Quote from The Vulture
Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.
Quote from AC/DC
Jake: I also have a hairline fracture in my thumb. Mankind's least important finger, am I right?