Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote of the Day

Sunday, April 5, 2020

Quote from Jake in The Party

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Recent Quotes

Saturday, April 4, 2020

Quote from Scully in Windbreaker City

Agent Kendrick: What are your demands?
Jake: A guarantee that this drill doesn't end until one of us is dead.
Charles: Also, one large pizza with fennel sausage - brick oven, otherwise it's sog city. And Scully needs some Gasinex, extra strength.
Scully: Chewable!

Friday, April 3, 2020

Quote from Jake in Halloween

Charles: Santiago, I know that you hate Halloween, but stick with me, and I promise you, you will love it.
Amy: Can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?
Jake: "Kind, sober and fully dressed." Good news, everyone. We found the name of Santiago's sex tape!

Thursday, April 2, 2020

Quote from Jake in The Golden Child

Hitchcock: Ooh, and does this David have a sister?
Jake: Yes. Amy is his sister.
Hitchcock: And what's her deal?
Jake: You were at the wedding, Hitchcock.

Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Quote from Jake in The Golden Child

Jake: Well, I'm very proud of you, and I also wish you had told me that before you went to the bathroom, because I really roasted your mom back there.
[cut to Jake at the table with David and Camila Santiago:]
Jake: And another thing, you should appreciate Amy more, because she's amazing.
And another thing, when you come to visit us, you don't have to bring your own coffee. Our coffee is fine. And another thing, I know enough Spanish to understand what idiota means! And another thing! When you say I have an "interesting nose," I know you mean big!
[present:]
Jake: I got lost in it. There were, like, 35 "another things."

Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Quote from Gina in Halloween III

Gina: If I die, turn my tweets into a book!

Monday, March 30, 2020

Quote from Rosa in Chasing Amy

Rosa: What are you looking all wistful about?
Jake: Just thinking, about relationships and love, and how I'm way better at them than I thought I'd be. Should I do a TED Talk on it?
Rosa: Doesn't seem any dumber than all the other TED Talks.

Upcoming Quotes

Monday, April 6, 2020

A quote from Captain Holt in the episode Payback.

Tuesday, April 7, 2020

A quote from Captain Holt in the episode Return of the King.

Wednesday, April 8, 2020

A quote from Jake in the episode AC/DC.

Thursday, April 9, 2020

A quote from Sergeant Jeffords in the episode M.E. Time.

Friday, April 10, 2020

A quote from Gina in the episode White Whale.