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‘Moo Moo’ Quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Moo Moo

416. Moo Moo

Aired May 2, 2017

Sergeant Jeffords is stopped by a fellow police officer while off-duty in his own neighborhood. When the incident escalates, Terry wants to file an official complaint against him, but Captain Holt has other ideas. Meanwhile, Jake and Amy get a glimpse into the difficulties of parenthood and answer some tough questions when they babysit Terry's kids.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: There's politics to being a cop.
Sergeant Jeffords: But I wasn't harassed for being a cop. I was harassed as a black man.
Captain Holt: I'm not saying do nothing. I'm saying the most powerful action you can take is to rise through the ranks so that you can make large-scale changes. I've had to pick my battles, and it hasn't always been easy, but now I have my own precinct, a precinct whose officers would never do to you what Officer Maldack did.
Sergeant Jeffords: I understand what you're saying, but-
Captain Holt: Shh. I hear Margo's squeaky shoes in the hallway. One guess as to where in Arizona she brought them. Scottsdale.

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Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: I thought a lot about our conversation. When I was a young police officer and things like this would happen to me, I felt very alone. I wanted to call out every bad cop I encountered, and there were a lot, but as a black gay man, I never had a superior who was on my side, so the advice I offered you, that came from a different place at a different time. I put all my energy towards rising to a rank where I could make a difference. Well, I'm there now, and I realize that if I don't back you up on this, I would be betraying the very thing that I worked so hard for, so I filed the complaint.

Quote from Hitchcock

Rosa: What's wrong?
Sergeant Jeffords: I got stopped by a cop last night.
Rosa: Stopped for what?
Sergeant Jeffords: Stopped for walking.
Rosa: That makes zero sense unless- Oh, crap. I see what happened.
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah.
Jake: Sarge, that's terrible.
Amy: That's so messed up.
Scully: Oh, jeez. I have no idea what's going on.
Hitchcock: He got stopped for being black. Get woke, Scully.

Quote from Captain Holt

Sergeant Jeffords: I'm sorry for interrupting your dinner party.
Captain Holt: No problem at all. This is important. Also, Kevin's friend Margo is here, and she's a real class-A drip.

Quote from Jake

Sergeant Jeffords: Hey, Peralta. How's it going, man?
Jake: Pretty good. Thanks for asking.
Sergeant Jeffords: Cool, cool, cool. So how's it going?
Jake: I'm still pretty good. Nothing has changed.
Sergeant Jeffords: I hadn't heard about that.
Jake: All right, you're clearly not listening to me. I can say whatever I want.
Sergeant Jeffords: Tell me about it.
Jake: I murdered Charles this weekend.
Sergeant Jeffords: I feel you.
Jake: Now that I have the taste for blood, I can't stop murdering.
Sergeant Jeffords: Been there.
Jake: Okay, Sarge. Sarge?
Sergeant Jeffords: Jake. When'd you get here? I'm sorry. I'm just trying to see if Captain Holt is done with his meeting yet. So, how's it going?
Jake: Okay. We've been over this. I'm pretty good.

Quote from Captain Holt

Sergeant Jeffords: Sir, I can't get why you don't want me to file the complaint. I thought you of all people would support me.
Captain Holt: First of all, let me say, what that officer did to you was wrong, deeply wrong, and I'm furious about it.
Sergeant Jeffords: Okay. So why don't you back me up?
Captain Holt: Because that complaint could backfire. Cops who blow the whistle on other cops almost always face a backlash, just like people who socialize with Margo invariably hear about her trip to Scottsdale.
Sergeant Jeffords: You're real worked up about Margo.
Captain Holt: Sorry. She's horrible.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Listen, I don't want to see your career derailed because you were besmirched for reporting on another officer.
Sergeant Jeffords: But what he did was wrong. He should be besmirched!
Captain Holt: Yes, but is that besmirching worth the greater besmirching of your career? You have to balance besmirchings.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Jake: Why are you acting so weird?
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm nervous. I'm gonna talk to Captain Holt about getting me more responsibility. Well, got to go. Die Hard. Explosions. Whatever.
Jake: Wait, no! Just when the conversation was getting interesting!

Quote from Jake

Sergeant Jeffords: Where the hell is Moo Moo?
Jake: Oh, no. I think Terry has a child named Moo Moo, and we forgot to pick her up.

Quote from Captain Holt

Margo: Oh, Ray, there you are. I'm about to start my Scottsdale slideshow. It has all the highlights.
Captain Holt: There are no highlights in Scottsdale, Margo.
Margo: That's what you think, Raymond.
Captain Holt: [breathing deeply]

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: You know why I became a cop?
Captain Holt: Please share.
Sergeant Jeffords: Because when I was a kid, I always wanted to be a superhero.
[cut to young Terry trying to stop a bully]
Sergeant Jeffords: Stop it! Stop bothering little Terry!
Bully: Or what?
Sergeant Jeffords: Or I will defeat you! [the bullies back off, Terry looks behind him a sees a black male police officer] Whoa.
[present:]
Sergeant Jeffords: I wanted to help people like that cop helped me. But right now, I don't feel like a superhero. I feel the opposite. When I got stopped the other day, I wasn't a cop. I wasn't a guy who lived in a neighborhood looking for his daughter's toy. I was a black man, a dangerous black man. That's all he could see: a threat. And I couldn't stop thinking about my daughters. And their future. And how years from now, they could be walking down the street, looking for their kids' Moo Moo, and get stopped by a bad cop. And they probably won't get to play the police card to get out of trouble. I don't like that thought, and I'm gonna do something about it. So I don't care if it might hurt my career. I'm filing that report. Even if I have to go over your head to do it.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Captain Holt: Kind of seemed like you were gonna get up and leave after saying all that.
Sergeant Jeffords: I was, but I think I hear Margo.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Yeah, we didn't really know what to say. At one point, I'm pretty sure I sang all of En Vogue's "Free Your Mind."
Sergeant Jeffords: Well, they had fun, and you made 'em feel safe. You did good. Oh, they made you a "thank you" card.
Jake: Aww. Pretty sure my nose isn't quite this big, especially with all the racial sensitivity talk, but I appreciate the effort.

Quote from Gina

Jake: Okay. Hang up. I'll call Gina.
Gina: Ugh. Come on, Jake. Just explain the deep-rooted institutionalized racism that remains pervasive in this country to this day.
Jake: Gina, they're children.
Gina: So put it in a song, Jake. Watch this. [singing] Racism, racism-
Jake: I'm hanging up.
Gina: Racism-
Jake: Gina, I'm hanging up.
Gina: Racism, baby-
Jake: That's a great song. I'm hanging up.


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