Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Monster in the Closet’ Quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Monster in the Closet

406. Monster in the Closet

Aired November 15, 2016

Pimento and Rosa decide to pick up where they left off and get married, so the whole squad preps a perfect wedding under Amy's careful direction. Pimento enlists Jake and Gina to hunt for his grandmother's ruby earrings for Rosa to wear in the ceremony, but the universe has other plans for them.

Quote from Charles

Charles: Amy, will you taste this batter?
Amy: Mm-hmm. Hmm. I think it's a little off.
Charles: You know what's off? Your mouth! Why Jake lets your stupid tongue anywhere near him, I'll never know. Nope, I forgot the sugar. That's on me.

Rate

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: While Pimento stares at Rosa, we'll all be staring at her.
Amy: Yes, we will.
Captain Holt: She's truly breathtaking. There's a double meaning to that. The breath that it takes to inflate all those balloons. Of course I used the hand pump, but the bon mot still works.

Quote from Captain Holt

Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, wow. That thing's huge. Didn't Rosa want things to be classy? I mean, she's getting married, not finishing a marathon.
Captain Holt: So says the hair guy. Stay in your lane, bucko.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Right, Santiago?
Amy: The arch sucks! I'm sorry. I didn't want to say anything because you're my boss and you were so excited, but the truth is every time I look at it I wanna die and take you with me.
Captain Holt: Well, I wish you'd said something before I spent all day making it. Of course, you didn't want to "burst my bubble". Pun intended. And then you did. [starts popping balloons]

Quote from Hitchcock

Amy: All right, food is ready, decorations are set, guests should start arriving any moment, and the chairs are still perfection.
Scully: She said they're perfection. I'm so proud of you, buddy.
Hitchcock: It was you. You made this happen.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Okay, so it seems like they don't wanna get married. But is it even our place to say something?
Amy: No, right?
Jake: Right?
Amy: It's their decision, even if it's a bad one. They could always get divorced.
Jake: People love getting divorced! My parents got divorced, and all it did was scar our family for years and years.

Quote from Captain Holt

Rosa: What do you have in there?
Captain Holt: A balloon arch.
Rosa: Oh, my God, Captain. She is magnificent.
Captain Holt: Vindication!

Quote from Hitchcock

Sergeant Jeffords: I left my phone in the briefing room. It's been 20 minutes. You think they're still-
Hitchcock: They're not doing anything. Kissing just turned into talk. It's like, why even work here?

Quote from Amy

Amy: All right. Listen up, people. The next 14 hours are gonna be hell, but in the end you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you've finally done something worthwhile with your lives.
Sergeant Jeffords: I kinda think the police work we do-
Amy: Eh-eh-eh! I don't have time to stroke your damn ego, Sergeant. Let's make a wedding!

Quote from Jake

Adrian Pimento: Hey, Jake. I need a wedding favor.
Jake: Of course. Anything. Except killing someone, or maiming someone, or breaking the law in any way, or nudity. Also I don't like waking up super early in the morning you know what, why don't you just tell me what you want?

Quote from Gina

Gina: Yeah, people fear me.
Jake: Mm.
Gina: The only reason I'm not your boss right now is 'cause I'd hate to do that to Holt. He needs this.
Jake: And also you're not a cop.
Gina: Well, you're not the basis of a character on "Empire," Jake, but I don't throw that in your face every damn day.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Okay. First, the good news. I've generated a detailed timeline broken down into 30-second increments to keep us on track. The bad news: we're already 16.5 increments behind schedule.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, man. Terry feels overwhelmed.
Amy: Good! Use it! Neil Armstrong was overwhelmed when he walked on the Moon, but you know what he did? He walked on the Moon!

Quote from Scully

Amy: Scully and Hitchcock, you're in charge of seating.
Scully: Smart move, Amy. I've been called the Leonardo da Vinci of sitting on my ass.

Quote from Gina

Jake: Hey, Gina, I could use your help here. You wanna maybe weigh in on this one?
Gina: Yeah, sure. You're right. The marriage is cursed.
Jake: What? No! You weighed in wrong.
Gina: I'm sorry, Jake, it's an omen. And I'm not taking your side against the universe's. It's hundred of years old.

Quote from Scully

Rosa: Anyway, we can't let all this go to waste. Everybody, clear these chairs out of here, and let's get this party started.
Hitchcock: No, not the chairs!
Scully: Don't touch the chairs, you monsters!


 Episode 405 Episode 407 
  Select another episode