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24Quotes from ‘Greg and Larry’

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Greg and Larry

323. Greg and Larry

Aired April 19, 2016

After a surprising turn of events in the Nine-Nine's attempt to track down Adrian Pimento's (guest star Jason Mantzoukas) hitman, the precinct drops everything when they suspect Holt is in danger.

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: We can go to my apartment. No one knows where I live.
Sergeant Jeffords: I thought you had Amy over there once.
Rosa: Yeah, it was fun. I moved the next day.

Quote from Charles

Charles: What about me? What if something happens to Jake, and he never gets to meet my baby? I don't want to hang out with some stupid baby who's never met Jake.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Why'd you do it, Bob? Why'd you betray everything you ever stood for?
Bob Annderson: I spent 14 years bringing down a Mexican cartel. You know what they gave me for it? A letter of commendation with my last name misspelled.
Captain Holt: In all fairness, Bob, who spells "Anderson" with three Ns?

Quote from Rosa

Bob Annderson: I know Figgis, and you're in far more danger than I. He's coming for you. And I guarantee his soldiers find this place.
Rosa: Not gonna happen. I rent it out under a shell corporation.
Jake: Yeah.
Rosa: My mail goes to a P.O. box in Queens.
Jake: Yeah.
Rosa: My neighbors think my name is Emily Goldfinch.
Jake: Oh, yeah.
Rosa: People I work with all think my name is Rosa Diaz.
Jake: Yeah -wait, what?
Rosa: Don't worry about it.
Jake: Okay.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: He's crashing! Push 10 ccs of corticosteroids, plus prep an ER for surgical decompression! Look, I don't know what any of this means, but I feel like Sandra Oh.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: White rice, brown rice. Those are just some of the rices I love.
Bob Annderson: Mmm.
Captain Holt: Also basmati.
Bob Annderson: Mmm.
Captain Holt: Uh, that's all of them now.

Quote from Scully

Jake: H is for Holt. He's leading us right to him. Now all we have to do is follow the trail of chocolate.
Scully: This, this is why I became a cop.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: I'd like to propose a toast. Even when Bob held that gun to my head, I was not afraid, because I knew you were on the case. I respect the hell out of each and every one of you. Nine-Nine.

Quote from Scully

Jake: Wait, getting a text. It's Captain Holt.
Rosa: Where is he? What'd he say?
Jake: "Inib rue tiid." Wait, I'm getting another one. "Ink obrvs whiz." These are nonsense.
Scully: He's been gagged.
Jake: How would that come through in a text, Scully?

Quote from Amy

Amy: Sir, I'm gonna need you to cut the power for Rosa Diaz in apartment 410.
Building Manager: 410 is Emily Goldfinch.
Amy: Who?
Building Manager: Curly black hair, always smiling, a little chatty for my taste.
Amy: I have so many questions, but there's no time.

Quote from Jake

Captain Holt: You've been played, Bob. It was all a ruse. You don't work with Jake Peralta for three years without knowing what the "Funky Cold Medina" is.
Jake: Aw, hell yeah. I asked the guy, "Why you so fly?"
Captain Holt: He said, "Funky Cold Medina".
Both: Funky Cold Medina.
Jake: Zero rehearsal.

Quote from Jake

Captain Holt: So we can sneak out like this, but what about Bob?
Jake: Not to worry. I've got that covered. Hitchcock. And, yes, he is bound and gagged under there, but more importantly, you said, "What about Bob?" That's the name of a movie. Holt made a pop culture reference. All right, let's go.

Quote from Jake

Captain Holt: Come on, come on, Captain, pick up. Your friend Bob is secretly working for Jimmy "the Butcher" Figgis. This is a call you're gonna want to take.
Rosa: Bob must've done something to him.
Jake: Or maybe they're talking about something super boring, like potatoes or beans.

Quote from Captain Holt

Bob Annderson: Would you mind getting us some food? I can't fathom eating these candies that Peralta bought us. Chocolate is the devil's carob.
Captain Holt: And carob is Satan's raisin.

Quote from Jake

Rosa: Gina said Holt is still in the building.
Jake: But where? I have to get into their heads. Woo.
"Bob, what are you doing?"
"I'm breaking the law, Raymond, because I'm the worst. Now walk out of this room as if nothing is happening."
"You'll never get away with this, Bob. Jake is on his way. He's a great cop, and he's going to save me."
"Really? He seemed so immature."
"Yes, he seems that way, but I know the real Jake. He's like a son to me. And when this is all through, we're going on a road trip together."
Rosa: Jake!
Jake: Rosa, shh! I'm working on the case right now.

Quote from Charles

Charles: We're not going anywhere. The flight is booked, and there's already a huge stand-by line.
Amy: What? We have to get on that plane. Were you stern?
Charles: Amy, you know I wasn't.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: When I die, please give Kevin my regards.
Bob Annderson: What shall I tell him?
Captain Holt: "Regards."

Quote from Jake

Jake: Come on, Bob. What are you doing up here? Why are you on the roof? Oh, my God. You're gonna zip-line off of this thing like an American ninja. That is such a cool escape plan!

Quote from Captain Holt

Bob Annderson: Actually, I was gonna throw Raymond over the side and make it look like a bird-watching accident.
Jake: Oh, please, do you think anyone's gonna actually-
Captain Holt: It's genius. There's a red-tailed hawk roost a block away, and I've got a pair of micro binoculars in my pocket, like a fool.

Quote from Captain Holt

Sergeant Jeffords: We have to call for backup.
Bob Annderson: Figgis has people in the NYPD and the FBI. So good luck with that.
Captain Holt: Wow, betraying the FBI is one thing, but sarcasm, Bob? Wow.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: His cerebral blood circulation is infarcted. Get me an ICP catheter, stat!
Jake: Wow, that was amazing, Sarge.
Sergeant Jeffords: I watch a lot of "Grey's Anatomy." That show's surprisingly accurate.
Jake: Yeah, the one episode I watched, there was a bomb in the guy's butt.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, that's a good one.

Quote from Jake

Jake: All right, fine. Take Bob with you into the panic room. Rosa and I'll find another way out.
Captain Holt: I'm sure you will, son.
Jake: [gasps] You called me "son." No take-backs.

Quote from Amy

Amy: And Jake I haven't seen him in weeks, and it's been so hard. I love him so much.
Oh, my God. I've said "I love you" to him before, but I've never added "so much." What if I never get to say "so much"?

Quote from Scully

Hitchcock: All right, listen up, buddy. You're gonna tell us where it is.
Scully: And also what it is. We're a little unclear what we're after.


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