Previous Episode Next Episode 

13Quotes from ‘Gray Star Mutual’

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Gray Star Mutual

518. Gray Star Mutual

Aired April 22, 2018

When a fire destroys Charles' food truck, Pimento (guest star Jason Mantzoukas) unexpectedly shows up to the scene as the insurance agent. Meanwhile, Rosa helps Amy to see that it's okay to get excited about picking her wedding dress, and Gina and Terry coach Holt in the art of social media.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: [shouting a tweet outloud] "Kudos to our brave officers"!
Sergeant Jeffords: Hey, now.
Gina: Whoa! What is going on?
Captain Holt: It's in all caps.

Quote from Amy

Rosa: So what do you think?
Amy: Mm, I don't love the sash. But it's fine. I'm just gonna get it.
Rosa: What? That's the first one you tried on. I once saw you look at 54 different accordion folders and not buy any of them due to weak tabs.
Amy: I file hard. I need strong tabs.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Well, I have already set up my accounts, and not to toot my own bugle, but I think I did an admirable job.
Gina: Oh, okay, what's your handle? I'll be your first follower.
Captain Holt: It's @5261796d6e6420486f6c74. It spells "Raymond Holt" in hexadecimal code. Clever, right?

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Oh, look at that. An alert. I'm probably trending already. What? My account has been deactivated?
Gina: Twitter thinks you're a bot.
Captain Holt: Why? I am a human. I am a human male.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Well, if I'm being honest, I would like a prettier dress.
Rosa: There you go.
Amy: And I would like it to have some lace.
Rosa: Uh-huh.
Amy: And a sweetheart neckline, thank you very much.
Rosa: What else?
Amy: And I want a mermaid cut with tulip sleeves.
Rosa: Say it again. Say it loud.
Amy: A mermaid cut with tulip frickin' sleeves!

Quote from Charles

Adrian Pimento: Charles, this isn't looking good for you. Anybody else that might have done this? Any enemies?
Charles: Well, my dad's best friend and I have a pretty intense rivalry, but I don't think my aunt would do anything illegal.

Quote from Jake

Charles: I can't. I'm in so much debt. I took out a loan for the truck. I got Amy to invest. No, the only way out of this hole is to keep digging.
Jake: That's not how holes work. Title of your sex tape.

Quote from Charles

Adrian Pimento: Look, I've caught enough arsonists in my day to know that the owner always does it. Chuck, how's the truck been doing?
Charles: Pretty terrible.
Adrian Pimento: Hmm?
Charles: I was just saying, it's a miracle it burned down.

Quote from Charles

Jake: Come on, you know we didn't commit arson.
Charles: Adrian, this is us.
Jake: Not the TV show.
Charles: We are your friends.
Jake: Not the movie.
Charles: You got to have faith.
Jake: Not the song. Are you doing this on purpose?
Charles: The third one, yes.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: If you really think it's necessary, I will establish a social media presence. But I'll be setting up my own accounts, and I assure you, I won't be resorting to foolish gimmicks involving my dog.
Gina: Uh, you might want to rethink that stance, because how cute would Cheddar look in this hat?
Captain Holt: Please. When it comes to clothes, Cheddar wears little booties in the snow, or Cheddar wears nothing.

Quote from Charles

Jake: Oh, my God, he had so much proof.
Charles: I can't believe he was on "Cash Cab" at the exact moment my truck burned down.
Jake: And he did so well. He named every member of The Monkees.
Charles: He even got Tork.
Jake: No one gets Tork.
Charles: I know.

Quote from Captain Holt

Sergeant Jeffords: Captain, are you sure you wouldn't like some help with this?
Captain Holt: Oh, no need. Now, for my first tweet, I think I should give an update on the water main break that's actually informative. "NYC H20-Main SITREP: at 2040 ED current PSI 456 MAX CAP 204000 LPM." Suck on that tasty lemon drop, Olivia Crawford.

Quote from Charles

Charles: Troy's not home, but I say we wait. I have some hard questions for that rice pudding bastard.


 Episode 517 Episode 519