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‘Debbie’ Quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Debbie

705. Debbie

Aired February 27, 2020

When cocaine and weapons are stolen from the evidence lock-up, the squad must investigate the Nine-Nine itself.

Quote from Charles

Sergeant Jeffords: So we don't know where Debbie has hidden the drugs. We searched her car, her apartment we even tried the location data on her phone, but she was smart, she had it turned off.
Amy: Or her battery died. According to her Screen Time app, she plays five hours a day of a game called "Cool Girl in School."
Charles: I love "CGIS." I just made captain of the color guard. Junior year's looking up.

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Quote from Captain Holt

Sergeant Jeffords: This is gonna take forever.
Captain Holt: I actually took a speed reading course. I tested at 800 WPM.
Amy: That's pathetic. I tested at 802.
Sergeant Jeffords: That's pretty close to Holt's score.
Captain Holt: No, no, 802's incredible. She pwned me. I read the entire Urban Dictionary So I could converse with the other uniformed officers. Finished it in 47 minutes.

Quote from Captain Holt

Sergeant Jeffords: Okay, I normally don't encourage such childish competitions, but this might help things go faster. My only question is, Holt, are you sure your old ass eyes are up to the challenge?
Captain Holt: I know you're just trying to motivate me, but these old ass eyes will be reading your tombstone, son.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Okay so the women's gym and the cocaine have given Debbie super powers. Cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Don't call her Santiago, call her Virginia Slim. Because I'm smoking her.
Sergeant Jeffords: Damn, Ray!

Quote from Charles

Sergeant Jeffords: Is there anything in those diaries that can help us find 'em?
Charles: Debbie mentioned her mom a bunch in one of the ones I read. Seems like she tells her everything.
Sergeant Jeffords: Ooh, that's a good lead.
Charles: It is a good lead, isn't it? Did you hear that, speed freaks?
Sergeant Jeffords: Let's find out all we can about the mom.
Charles: I'll start reading right away because slow and steady wins...
Amy: Her mother's name is Margaret Jean Fogle.
Captain Holt: She lives in Bensonhurst.
Amy: She drives a maroon Lexus.
Captain Holt: Vanity plates, "DEREKSMOM."
Amy: She's been married three times.
Captain Holt: To Horace Mills.
Amy: Then Frank Yelter.
Captain Holt: And then James Fogle.
Amy: She goes grocery shopping on Tuesdays.
Captain Holt: Water aerobics on Wednesdays.
Amy: Book club on Fridays.
Captain Holt: She drinks too much wine.
Amy: Always a pinot grigio.
Captain Holt: Always from Napa.
Charles: The race. Slow and steady wins the race.

Quote from Rosa

Captain Holt: But we have to let the investigation run its course. Right now, everyone's a suspect.
Rosa: Except for Hitchcock and Scully. Whoever did it took the stairs.

Quote from Scully

Officer Debbie Fogle: Mmm, what do I want in my sandwich? Let's see. Definitely ham, cheese, baking soda for sure, French vanilla creamer, ooh, orange chicken. [runs] Ah!
Sergeant Jeffords: Debbie!
[Scully holds his arm out and knocks Debbie to the ground]
Officer Debbie Fogle: Ooh!
Scully: You really thought you'd get away with it?
Sergeant Jeffords: Damn, Scully!
Scully: I was planning on eating that orange chicken later!
Sergeant Jeffords: Is that why you took her down? Do you even know about the missing cocaine?
Scully: Cocaine?

Quote from Hitchcock

Hitchcock: It was her. I heard her setting up a drop.
Jake: And why were you in the women's room?
Hitchcock: It wasn't for a gross reason. The men's room was occupied, and I had to dump out.
Jake: Well, as long as it wasn't for a gross reason.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: So how's it going?
Amy: What do you want, Terry? Or are you just here to fan some more flames?
Sergeant Jeffords: No, I'm just here to see who's losing and therefore has to wear this hat I made that says, "More Stupider." Fine, yeah, I'm fanning flames. Fan, fan, fan, fan, fan, Santiago.

Quote from Captain Holt

Amy: Ow.
Captain Holt: What's going on, Santiago?
Amy: It's nothing. It's my guide finger. I've got paper burn.
Captain Holt: Let me see.
Amy: Hm. Santiago, you're hurt. Don't be a hero.
Captain Holt: Damn. You must've been cooking.
Amy: I was.
Captain Holt: Let's take a break, put some ointment on that.
Amy: Right. And when I come back, my finger's slipping all over the page. Nice try. I'm not falling for any of your tricks.
Captain Holt: Oh, but you already have. While you were waggling your finger in the air, I've been reading all this time out of the corner of my eye.
Amy: Damn it!

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: Ugh. She'll probably get ten years. It's better than 30. Let's be real, Debbie's life wasn't gonna begin till she was 50 anyway.
Jake: Yeah, the kooky aunt vibe will probably play a lot better then.

Quote from Captain Holt

Charles: This is ridiculous. Neither of you have even taken a bathroom break.
Captain Holt: Are you kidding me? Do you think world record-holder Howard Berg would stop in the middle of a read-off to expel?

Quote from Jake

Officer Debbie Fogle: What about you guys? How did he turn you?
Jake: Well, I've been dirty long before Nucci came onto the scene. I do a ton of coke. They call me Mr. Springtime because of how fast I make the snow disappear.

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: Shut up, Margaret! Same crap my parents pulled. Always pointing out my flaws, never helping and then bailing when things got messy. You know, I was a lot like you.
Margaret Fogle: You were holed up with a ton of cocaine and a bunch of guns?
Rosa: That's my business.
Jake: What?
Rosa: I spent years telling myself that tough love made me stronger, but you know what I really wish they'd done?
Officer Debbie Fogle: What?
Rosa: Been nice to me. I wish they would've told me I made a mistake, but they still loved me and they would help me try to figure it out. Would've saved me a lot of pain. Debbie, you have made some really bad choices today.
Margaret Fogle: Really bad.
Jake: Not now, Debbie's mom.
Rosa: You are not a bad person. If we get out of this alive, I promise you I will help you however I can.


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