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15Quotes from ‘Boyle's Hunch’

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Boyle's Hunch

303. Boyle's Hunch

Aired October 11, 2015

When Boyle hits it off with a woman at the courthouse, Jake tries to help set him up. Meanwhile, Rosa is angry when her ice cream is stolen and she thinks she knows exactly who did it, and Captain Holt seeks Amy's help with a PR campaign.

Quote from Amy

Amy: This one says Die Pig. And worst of all, they didn't put the comma between die and pig.

Quote from Gina

Captain Holt: Gina, as you predicted, there was some backlash to the poster campaign.
Gina: Yes. I'm the Nostradamus of your shame.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Boyle, they found one of the stolen paintings at her house.
Charles: But she says she didn't know how it ended up there.
She's being set up.
Jake: Framed! Art joke. Continue.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Let's go free an innocent woman.
Charles: Nice. My dreams are coming true. You and me getting my lady off together.
Jake: I mean, you know how that sounds, right?

Quote from Charles

Charles: I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like her a little bit.
Jake: You doodled your wedding invitation.
Charles: No, that's our joint tombstone.
Jake: My mistake.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Yes, this is unfortunate, but let's not overreact to one grafito.

Quote from Charles

Jake: Hey, donut holes. Don't mind if I do.
Eurgh! Fish? Fish donuts, Boyle? What is wrong with you?
Charles: It's takoyaki. I'm drowning my sorrows in octopus balls.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Police approval ratings are - pardon my language - in the commode.

Quote from Scully

Rosa: I'll be back. Don't move.
Scully: Not a problem. I hate moving.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Now, I see that as a positive story. Out of all the identities he could have stolen. He chose yours! And you want to know why?
Charles: Because I posted my annual income?
Jake: Because you posted your annual income, you moron.

Quote from Charles

Charles: I'm Donald Hoberman Sykes. I wear glasses.

Quote from Jake

Jake: And my new partner, a tarantula. I call him Jake Junior, a.k.a. Spidey Klum, a.k.a Mrs. Doubtspider, a.k.a. Joe Spiden, a.k.a. Tarantula Basset, a.k.a. Spi-Dermot Mulroney.
Charles: A.k.a. Tarantulina Jolie.
Jake: What? No. Charles, have you seen the spider? That's a terrible name.

Quote from Amy

Captain Holt: Santiago, thank you for coming in. It's no secret the the NYPD has an image problem.
Amy: Yeah. When I told my garbage man I was a cop, he said "Gross." He had someone else's bandaid stuck to him.

Quote from Rosa

Sergeant Jeffords: They'll deny everything. We need hard proof.
Rosa: So, let's get it. Step one, put a delicious pie in the fridge and cover it with poison.
Sergeant Jeffords: That's step one? What's step two?
Rosa: Tell their widows they were thieves.

Quote from Jake

Jake: I have no idea what a chrysalis is, but serious question. If she farts in that thing, does it blow up like a balloon?
Charles: You have to assume that it would.
Jake: You have to, right? Art is so intense.


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